Karen

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Friday, March 26, 2010; 5:57 PM

had tuition yesterday. before that, school. omg. it was like........................ seriously. lol all maths-releted topics on friday... lol. sad. then ate with chen yan and gladys in school before headin off for tuition. was 30 mins late. then i chiong vectors lol. until 5 plus then took the bus 48 to queenstown cc to meet bel and joseph for b'ball. it was fun. haha. then there was like 3 guys from the bus who followed me there. i can hear them from the bus leh. then one of them finally come up to ask for my number. i just stared at that person. lol. then he wanted to walk away, cause i didnt say anything.. then i was like okayys. then he was like really? then i said yeah. wait uh. then got my phone. and and he is from the same school as zach! lol oh wells. later still have to go for lessons. LIT ELEC.... one and a half hours in school. lol bleah. so dont feel like going. butttttttttttttt....... I AM RESPONSIBLE! haha.

baby, i miss you. i still do. i feel so empty without you... why are you doing all these?

the power of love: so strong that you wonder hopelessly what happened to you.

Loves,
K

Monday, March 22, 2010; 1:57 AM

yesterday, so many things happened. then again it really isnt alot.

on the way to the market yesterday, my slippers gave way and i had to limp all the way to the shoe store nearby. then it was alot of black vinegar in my noodles. after which went for a haircut and it started pouring. it was freaking cold okayys. then at night, tim told me sth which made me cry. i cried so hard i could barely talk. and when i calmed down abit and try to talk, i cry even more. stupid lah. =(

today also nothing much. didnt feel so well, informed daddy and went home. then i realised that i forgot to inform miss khoo. but i did anyways. sometimes ppl dont have to look sick to feel sick. i feel so freaking giddy today. i think i am having a headahce. then lunch with twinie . =] you know i realised that everyone thinks they know what is going on in a person's life and who they like and all? why do they like to freaking assume? it's so sickening. ppl assume you like someone when you dont and keeps telling that person. why cnt ppl just be good friends? use your brains lah. seriously. it is irritating

i have already given up. why does it still hurts so much? why cant you just tell me straight in the face? i have already given up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want know the freaking truth.

' i wish i could tell you i'm feeling better everyday, that it didnt hurt when you walked away'
-------------------------------------------edit-ed----------------------------------------------

i went blog hopping... and found out just how much love meant to everyone. well, mainly because they keep talking about it. yes, it's true. love is essential. but those without it just have to live with it. cause nobody is giving it to them. that's how i feel right now. i admire ppl who have beautiful and seemingly perfect relationship. it a really pretty thing. and i often wonder, will i have mine someday? it hurts knowing that things dont often turn out as expected. then again the truth hurts.

i feel like as if my heart has been kicked, punched, bitten, broken, dropped, pinched, tore apart and set fire to. all it's left with now is just ashes. i am just not ready to start a new relationship now. but i am ready to be loved. just not sure if i cn accept a new beginning. and i most definately cant afford to be hurt again. cause guys are just such GREAT LIERS. they lie and trick you into their arms, then just leave you to be, longing for them and their love. and you have to stand up on your own.
Loves,
K

Thursday, March 18, 2010; 7:28 PM

gosh. i am so freaking bored. it's like there's no one at home now. bel just went out. =( now talking to zach over the phone. yes, i am that bored.

so yeah now bored ttmax. let's see....

tuesday:in school from 8am-4am lit , maths and dnt. then met rex and ken and went for nic's birthday party... fun. lol there was so much food!! damn full. full until cnt move can. lol

wednesday: hmms 8 to 4 again. lit chem and dnt. in between chem and dnt went to great world with glad... went to food junction for pepper lunch and to find see teng, liyi and yang hui. had watermelon and star fruit juice. niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! then went to send yan hui off and went back to school. lucas and jun sheng went off early. then after dnt stoned at the canteen with yinmei. lol. then wait for 5.30 before going off. then went to dawson to get fries and went opp to take 970.

thursday:today had maths but didnt go for chem... looks like i am gonna have to revise myself. oh wells.... then walk with melisa to queenstown mrt. then it kinda rained. so we looked for shelter. then we saw kitty!!! she is so cute!!!! omg... but melisa didnt like cats..... oh wells. then homed. and had lunch with bel at home.

i wish you know how i am feeling now, i wish you knew everything cause you wanted to so i didnt have to tell you. but i give up... i give up on love, i give up on relationships , i give up trying to help you, i give up trying to get your attention. i give up on you. sorry, i just cnt hold on anymore... maybe i am not as thick skined as you think i am. maybe i am not as tough as i thought i was. i feel so stupid... holding on to something i know i shouldnt... so i am giving up. ppl keep telling me, then why do you still hold on?.... you know what? i am not. i have given up already. it's just, everytime i see you... it's like back to sqaure one. that why i tell myself. stop. just give up. and maybe, just maybe... i am right to do so.

Loves,
K

Monday, March 15, 2010; 12:33 AM

today woke up at 7 in the morning just to go for a mock exam. it was pretty relax cause well, it's a MOCK exam. but i didnt think i did so well either. then went with girlfriend and daryl for lunch at queensway. dunno why was feeling emo. i mean what drayl said was kinda funny but i cnt seem to bring myself to smile. then on the way to the bus stop i cant stop laughing ... mood swings again. this is crap man. oh wells. anyways we took 61 and stopped at the bus stop opp my house cause i said i feel like eating ljs. lol and we had to walk back to commonwealth mrt. haha. walk half way it rain-ed. aww. then we walked fast fast. then sat in ljs for like damn long until it kinda stopped raining. then stone at the bus stop for quite awhile before girlfriend was all like should i top up my ezlink, in the end he did. lol. we went up to the mrt station and came down again. and well, walked fast for 970. lol came just in time. then homed. haha.

you know, i cnt stop listening to the song baby... cause of you. you know that right? do you?

lol why do i keep asking retarded questions today? feeling soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo retarded.

oh wells, i should update girlfriend's blog now. later i kena from him again.

super loves,
K

Friday, March 12, 2010; 5:17 AM

went to the it fair yeaterday with lucas, jun sheng and kendrick. it was super crowded!! i was so afraid i would get lost. but lucas told me to stand infront of him so that i wouldnt. after that we went to eat mac's near bras basah, then to the library and homed. it was rather fun.

i know that i told you that you are smelly and all. but i like your smell. yesterday, somehow i felt like your girl again. seriously. you know, i dont need you to change or anything. i like you just the way you are. you got my addicted to the song baby.

today is the last day of term 1. had lessons as usual, poa, physics and maths the rest is like cme and ace. went home with sis. then rushed for tuition. was abit late but mrs tan said it was okayys. then bused home from there. girlfriend is having camp, take care yeah... dont injured yourself okayys? =]

you rather talk to other ppl, other girls then to talk to me. even if it's not so you give me that kind of impression you know. i feel so bad. super bad. yes jealous. i dont like this feeling. i keep telling myself to get over it. why cant i??????????????????????????????????????????/

now going to update twinie's blog. later,

loves
K

Wednesday, March 10, 2010; 1:37 AM

gosh. worse sports day ever! it's like the slackest sports day ever okayys. nothing much to do and stuff. just sit and stone. oh wells. after which i went to queensway with daryl and twinie. ate laksa.

then rushed home to bathe. and rushed out. then cabbed with twinie and went to cineleisure. 6th floor saw kimberly on the way up. met wee keat they all. got the ticket and went in. twinie said there was like 11 ppl. lol like my birthday last year, also around 11 ppl. then yeah watched alice in wonderland in 3D first time!!! not bad lah but i rather watch the non 3D one. it didnt affect the show though. not bad. immediately after that bus-ed home and waited for twinie's bus to arrive.

still have to go for a lit play later on.aww/ oh wells.

omg. i was so looking forward to seeing you.... but you didnt come today. sad. you know i dun understand why you are like so dun care nowadays.i want to see you so badly. i want you back so badly.

oh wells, gtg prepare now.

Loves
K

Friday, March 5, 2010; 2:43 AM

happy birthday lam kwok onn!! =D

my sec one super crush. lol hope you like that present i gave you yeah. and super thanks for you thank you messeges lol. yeah lah i know. damn lame haha. it's been super long since that crush was over man. i still can remember how i used to text you and waited anxiously for your reply. haha. stupid lah.

you know. recently i have been crazy about flowers. seriously. gladys doesnt like it. so our whole conversation became something like this:

me: flower!!!

gladys: no. flower not nice. cannot draw.

me: why? what about trees?

gladys: no.

me: fine. i shall draw grass.

gladys: okayys grass is good.

me: i draw flower grass.

gladys: =.= . no no. grass only.

me: awww.

but i still continue to draw flowers. haha.

wells. pe has been fun this week. mainly cause we actually played!!! haha. funnnnnnnnn. but super tiring and sweaty. then i headed over to c class and was surprised that tan jun sheng was actually using the handphone strap i gave. anyways i had given it to 2 other ppl. one for kwok onn today and another for sui zhi. all unique in their own ways. =] now see weather kwok onn got put anot . lol. i hope that that would be their lucky charm and would bring them luck. =]

and and today there is like this fire drill. and we were Kinda late cause we take our own sweet time walking down . but the grass at the football field is so soft man. omg. super love sitting on it, not running on it but sitting. lol. you ppl should try.

baby, you know, it's not that i dont want to respond to you or what. i just feel so heartbroken everytime i see you. when you called my name, i didnt respond, you just keep calling. and i actually told you that i didnt want to talk to you . but then i gave in afterwards. though it didnt sound kind. and you ended up answering your own questions for me. lol. and i was all like why dont you ask lucas? sorry i am so mean to you but i am really trying to forget. you know, the way you look at me when you talk makes my heart beat so fast? when you look at me straight in the eyes, i feel so lost. tell me, how can i find my way?

oh look you happen to log in. lol. but i am not going to talk to you. cause you wont talk to me anyways. you dont give a shit.

i love you and you know it. =]

Loves
K