Karen

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Saturday, February 27, 2010; 12:47 AM

today nth much really. had lit in the morning. 1 and a half hours omg. i was freezing to death. in was damn cold. though i had no mood to study, i managed to force myself to do so. i had no idea how though. so yeah. after that went to queensway with ernest to look for a water bottle and ate lunch too. =] curry chicken. then walked around and home-ed.

sec 4 has been damn busy man. have no time for alot of things. and i certainly dont have time to be entertain anyone else whom i cant be bothered with. tired tired tired. but i can take it man. i know i can, even though i am physically and mentally tired but i am going to push myself cause this is the last year. chiong man.

yes it's true, hokkien is not a valgarity. i totally agree cause i am a hokkien too. it just sounds very rough and certain ppl dont like it. and yeah english is alot better. i agree too. but ever since i entered queenstown, my standred of english have been dropping.therefore i shall try to blog in almost perfect english. =]

yes i have removed my cbox. yvonne was right. blogs dont need to have cboxes. because every other year blogs are spammed by ppl who think that they can intimidate you and stuff. yea i totally agree. because there would be ppl saying that i am a flirt etc etc. but the truth is i dont really care what others think of me. but i dont like the fact that this is my blog and there are others intruding it.

shall update later. going out now. later.

yes, i am in love.

loves,
K

Thursday, February 25, 2010; 2:07 AM

Happy birthday gladys liu! =]

hope you like the cake okayys. =]

today was like super fail lah omg. haha. but we still manged to pull it through. haha. nick's name got cut and then he scolded chen yan lol. omg. i feel so bad even though everyone is like telling me that it's okayys. sadded. i mean seriously. i am a failed planner even though i did not plan this alone. can you believe it? ah. sian. haha.

so yeah was supposed to accompany girlfriend to the doctor's but then he last min dont want to go liao. so we went tiong instead and he keep stealing my fries. lol.but i just watched him steal haha. abit retarded lah haha. but in any case, we saw alot of queenstownians. lol. abit weird lah. then shop shop abit. and home-ed.

why a sudden change of attitude towards me? i mean i really dont want to have false hopes anymore. i am really very scared. what if i read your actions wrongly?now you are not replying me on msn. but you are like active on facebook. =( why why??

Loves
K

Wednesday, February 17, 2010; 2:56 AM

sian fucking emo-ing... why does it still hurt so much? after sending you that message, though knowing that you wont reply, i keep looking at my phone. hoping that every message that appears is yours. throwing myself at you once again. what is wrong with me man. today i saw you looking, but i ignored you. i pretended not to care. you know how much i want to just stare back? maybe that's cause you are not replying. now i have keep alot of this to myself. cause my best friends have their own problems and i dont want them to worry.you know what? i dont want to drag anymore. seriously. i am just gonna to ask you straight. better reply. but if you dont, i also cnt do anything about it.

today nothing much lah. just alot of pain and sadness. had dnt in the morning. so yeah. fucking fed up. i think i am having mood swings. ah shit. then it was poa. glad and i pon quite a while then the whole class know. lol cause mrs tan was collecting 2 dollars for ledger paper. then realised that we are not in class. haha. then it's recess!! yay!! =] also nothing much. then it's chinese followed by english. =] so yeah. then lunch. and chemistry and ss. got test for ss. i dun think i did very well.

eh. you damn fucked up leh. hope you are reading this man. you want to beat ppl right? then beat lah. see who lose out. at most police report nia. you can make police report against other ppl, others also can file against you lah. dun think you are a guy then i would be scared okayys, you want to hit me right? then hit lah. come and tell me straight dont ask other ppl to come and tell me. fucker. have back up so what? that only shows that you cant be dependent on yourself. you need others to clear your shit for you. dumb ass. you are not the king or what okayys. not everyone have to take your sass. if you werent so fucked up you would still be in the class. bad-tempered so what? stab me lah. dunno how to say anything then dont. cause you are just another fucking jerk. you know how to use vulgarities right? keep using. who dont know? just dun want to so uncivilised, educated like not educated littat. so paranoid, go for a check up lah.

love,
K

Monday, February 15, 2010; 4:50 AM

so yeah. stayed at home today. and helped mum in kitchen. =] and watched movie after movie. all comedies. not bad lah. most chi.:D not bad horx. and smsed loh. i know lah quite boring. but okayys leh. i think. at least i get to spend time with mummy. :DD

i wonder... what are you thinking right now? trying not to think about it. trying to be strong. but who am i kidding man. so fucked up. maybe you cnt be bothered and you dun care. is our relationship so not memorable? was the feelings all fake? if not, then how could you forget it all so easily?if there was an eraser that could erase memories, i would use it to erase memories of you and i. so that i could look at you and feel nothing at all. but i cnt. and there isn't such eraser. it still hurts. but i guess i am all used to it. how can i not be after living with it for so long? putting poohger by my bedside. trying to ignore it, sometimes even thought of throwing it away... too much tears, pain, love and feelings have been put in. memories... all encased inside. but i cnt bear to. why is letting go of you so hard?

a world without you... feels so cold. and lonely.

Loves,
K

Saturday, February 13, 2010; 7:37 PM

heyheys. happy cny everyone!! and valentine's day. =] i hope everyone can find their true love and get loads and loads of ang bao. =]

now am rotting infront of the computer. waiting for dad to come and fetch us. omg. bored ttmax. haha. sian sian sian . wake up early in the morning to have mac's breakfast. dad and mum bought it. =] oh wells. spent the whole day yesterday helping mum in the kitchen and buying things at supermarket. haha omg it's crowded with aunties okayys. and i cnt find the mayo. omg. what is this world turning into. no labels deh. find until i damn sian. in the end also didnt use.=.= oh wells.

now my nails are of cny colour. mummy actually allowed us to buy nail polish yeasterday. even though she hated the smell but she knew that we liked to colour our nails. haha.=] bel's one is of pink coated with a hint of sliver. sweet huh.

valentine's day... doesnt seem like one. my heart is broken into a million pieces and no one can heal it but him. i shall try to cheer up and not think about it. okayys. i am neo karen and i can totally live without him.

woman!! must stay strong. i am really afraid you will fall ill cause of this. i really cnt bear to see things take a turn for the worse. i know it's hard and the pain is excruciating. but waiting is really all you can do.

loves
K

Friday, February 12, 2010; 3:40 AM

I AM SO ADDICTED TO THE SONG CONTAGIOUS!!!

today is friday!! and we had celebration in school for lunar new year. =D the ne clip was actually interesting. lol. whoa. got cartoon somemore. haha. and and mr chong gave us ang baos!!! :DD then it was physics with mrs gan. went through the test. i actually scored higher then rex for the first time!! yay!! 10.5 upon 15 cool lah. but the highest was annan 13.5 and he got chocolate. lol. i also want. lol. then celebration concert. still can lah. there is this video where everyone gave their wishes and stuff and the last part was ng. lol. about the sink hole thingy lah. haha. and the teacher actually showed it infront of the whole school. lmao. confirm die liao. haha.

then went with glad and chen yan to bugis. ate mac's. twister fries was awesome. haha. theb shop shop awhile and i need to go for tuition. so went off. tried to rush. but was still late. then when going off cher told me that i am lazy today. and i said it's cause luanr new year is coming. haha. then she laughed and said okayy and let me off. haha

was supposed to meet zach but he got some family problems so yeah. maybe i should let his present rott. haha. nah i be nice. :D

i want your answer but i know you need time. i guess i am going to wait again. i dunno if i should. i really dunno what to do anymore.

loves,
K

Sunday, February 7, 2010; 12:01 AM

heyheys. bloggin after dunno how long sia. awesome. =] lol. so yeah chinese new year is coming and so is valentine. cant wait for that 3 days holiday. =] too much has been going on and i have no idea where to start. oh wells. made tiramisu today. it was nice. like really nice. lol. but still there is raw egg inside but it's frozen so yeah. lol.

finished up english today and wrote letters =]. couldnt push myself to finish up lit. was busy sms-ing. haha. while writing the letters. i thought about how everything used to be two years ago. it seems like it was yesterday, yet kinda faraway. yeah i know it sounds weird. lol. maybe not pharsed properly bah.

no mood to blog today.

baby, all i know right now is that i love you.

loves,
K

Wednesday, February 3, 2010; 3:32 AM

it all seems so fragile. people whom i always thought were having a stable and loving relationship, suddenly have problems and it all just come crumbling down. worst of all, their partners dont think that they are in the wrong. and yes, as usual it hurts. if you really love someone, would you bear to even hurt that person? i remember being in their shoes last year. and was probably rotting.

today a traumatic event occurred. someone got canned and apparently glad and i had the front row seats. =( i have no idea why but it's kind of uncomfortable watching a classmate get canned. yet other ppl tell me it's just canning. alot of ppl 4C wanted to watch. they damn sadistic man. LOL see that lucas? you are a sadist!! the thing is we all lost our appetite. and it's like that kind of nervous feeling you cant get rid of. heart pumping really fast. and we got scolded by the vp. he doesnt put himself in our shoes. anyone would feel uncomfortable watching their classmate get canned. he thinks that we are trying to support that guy by going out of class. cause he said anyone who feels uncomfortable can go out and the whole class went out. then he called us in again and said the girls can go out but there were more girls then boys. well one or two bah. so he called all of us back. lol. joke.

baby, i feel so alone today. i need your warmth. i need you. but you were busy doing your maths during lunch in your super messy writing. lol. i wanted so much to go over there and just sit beside you. but i pretended i didnt care. cause i am still trying to get over you.

girlfriend!! dun be sad okayys? at least you ppl got into the second round. all the way man! all the way. =]

to forget you: it's impossible. every fragments of certain things reminds me of you.

Loves,
K