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Tuesday, December 15, 2009; 10:36 PM
it's starting to feel lyk a never ending love story, except now... there is not much of love... it's just my one sided crush... trying not to think about it but it keeps coming back. i feel lyk as if i am not good enough... was i wrong? to love you when i know you wouldnt love me back. at least not anymore. to cry when i know you wouldnt give a damn. to care for you when i know and i dont expect any returns. how am i supposed to show that i am really sorry for hurting you th first time round? and that no matter what others say, i never gave up on you. i am trying to let go. so that both of us can be happier. but it's so hard. sometimes. when i close my eyes, memories flood my mind. those times that made me feel so indifferent, loved. and i knew, no matter how high i climb,i am not afraid to fall, because you would be there to break my fall. but now, i am afraid to climb... to even try... afraid that i would hit the cold hard floor if i fall. it would be back to square1... it was so hard to get out of it. i feel so empty. lyk sth thing is missing. but yet i cnt seem to figure it out. sometimes i want to set things right. but they never seem to work. i feel like an utter failure. Love,K
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October 2007