KaRaMeL

2010-04-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

RELINK!!!http://two-heartsasone.blogspot.com/ :D

2010-04-02T18:23:00.000-07:00

yesterday was damn funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! woke up at like 7 in the morning to prepare, then met baby at 8 plus. afterwhich we went for mac's at greatworld! niceeeeeeeeeee. haha. then went back to holland v. walked around then went to baby's house cause he have piano. waited for him.... then headed back to holland v to get starbucks then slacked at commonwealth. =] then went for yo my grandmother's house.

baby, i had this nightmare that you were goin to leave me. and i actually woke up crying. i guess i have fallen deeper for you then i expected, seriously. after we got together, i often wonder if i had really fallen for you. but i guess that that question is answered. =]

thanks for everything yesterday. :D

Loves,
K

2010-04-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

yesterday was like damn fun. after school went to eat ice cream with melisa and glad then after which went to home to bathe then met baby. timothy came afterwards. we were like supposed to study. but in the end failed miserably. haha. sad, then tim went home with afif. then i just stoned with baby. went to buy dinner then went home. =]

now at baby's house. damn nice lah, lol. later going for a movie before heading for my grandmother's house. =]

i guess i finally knew what that fortune cookie thingy meant. :D

Loves,
K

2010-03-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

had tuition yesterday. before that, school. omg. it was like........................ seriously. lol all maths-releted topics on friday... lol. sad. then ate with chen yan and gladys in school before headin off for tuition. was 30 mins late. then i chiong vectors lol. until 5 plus then took the bus 48 to queenstown cc to meet bel and joseph for b'ball. it was fun. haha. then there was like 3 guys from the bus who followed me there. i can hear them from the bus leh. then one of them finally come up to ask for my number. i just stared at that person. lol. then he wanted to walk away, cause i didnt say anything.. then i was like okayys. then he was like really? then i said yeah. wait uh. then got my phone. and and he is from the same school as zach! lol oh wells. later still have to go for lessons. LIT ELEC.... one and a half hours in school. lol bleah. so dont feel like going. butttttttttttttt....... I AM RESPONSIBLE! haha.

baby, i miss you. i still do. i feel so empty without you... why are you doing all these?

the power of love: so strong that you wonder hopelessly what happened to you.

Loves,
K

2010-03-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

yesterday, so many things happened. then again it really isnt alot.

on the way to the market yesterday, my slippers gave way and i had to limp all the way to the shoe store nearby. then it was alot of black vinegar in my noodles. after which went for a haircut and it started pouring. it was freaking cold okayys. then at night, tim told me sth which made me cry. i cried so hard i could barely talk. and when i calmed down abit and try to talk, i cry even more. stupid lah. =(

today also nothing much. didnt feel so well, informed daddy and went home. then i realised that i forgot to inform miss khoo. but i did anyways. sometimes ppl dont have to look sick to feel sick. i feel so freaking giddy today. i think i am having a headahce. then lunch with twinie . =] you know i realised that everyone thinks they know what is going on in a person's life and who they like and all? why do they like to freaking assume? it's so sickening. ppl assume you like someone when you dont and keeps telling that person. why cnt ppl just be good friends? use your brains lah. seriously. it is irritating

i have already given up. why does it still hurts so much? why cant you just tell me straight in the face? i have already given up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just want know the freaking truth.

' i wish i could tell you i'm feeling better everyday, that it didnt hurt when you walked away'
-------------------------------------------edit-ed----------------------------------------------

i went blog hopping... and found out just how much love meant to everyone. well, mainly because they keep talking about it. yes, it's true. love is essential. but those without it just have to live with it. cause nobody is giving it to them. that's how i feel right now. i admire ppl who have beautiful and seemingly perfect relationship. it a really pretty thing. and i often wonder, will i have mine someday? it hurts knowing that things dont often turn out as expected. then again the truth hurts.

i feel like as if my heart has been kicked, punched, bitten, broken, dropped, pinched, tore apart and set fire to. all it's left with now is just ashes. i am just not ready to start a new relationship now. but i am ready to be loved. just not sure if i cn accept a new beginning. and i most definately cant afford to be hurt again. cause guys are just such GREAT LIERS. they lie and trick you into their arms, then just leave you to be, longing for them and their love. and you have to stand up on your own.
Loves,
K

2010-03-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

gosh. i am so freaking bored. it's like there's no one at home now. bel just went out. =( now talking to zach over the phone. yes, i am that bored.

2010-03-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

so yeah now bored ttmax. let's see....

tuesday:in school from 8am-4am lit , maths and dnt. then met rex and ken and went for nic's birthday party... fun. lol there was so much food!! damn full. full until cnt move can. lol

wednesday: hmms 8 to 4 again. lit chem and dnt. in between chem and dnt went to great world with glad... went to food junction for pepper lunch and to find see teng, liyi and yang hui. had watermelon and star fruit juice. niceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! then went to send yan hui off and went back to school. lucas and jun sheng went off early. then after dnt stoned at the canteen with yinmei. lol. then wait for 5.30 before going off. then went to dawson to get fries and went opp to take 970.

thursday:today had maths but didnt go for chem... looks like i am gonna have to revise myself. oh wells.... then walk with melisa to queenstown mrt. then it kinda rained. so we looked for shelter. then we saw kitty!!! she is so cute!!!! omg... but melisa didnt like cats..... oh wells. then homed. and had lunch with bel at home.

i wish you know how i am feeling now, i wish you knew everything cause you wanted to so i didnt have to tell you. but i give up... i give up on love, i give up on relationships , i give up trying to help you, i give up trying to get your attention. i give up on you. sorry, i just cnt hold on anymore... maybe i am not as thick skined as you think i am. maybe i am not as tough as i thought i was. i feel so stupid... holding on to something i know i shouldnt... so i am giving up. ppl keep telling me, then why do you still hold on?.... you know what? i am not. i have given up already. it's just, everytime i see you... it's like back to sqaure one. that why i tell myself. stop. just give up. and maybe, just maybe... i am right to do so.

Loves,
K

2010-03-15T00:33:00.001-07:00

today woke up at 7 in the morning just to go for a mock exam. it was pretty relax cause well, it's a MOCK exam. but i didnt think i did so well either. then went with girlfriend and daryl for lunch at queensway. dunno why was feeling emo. i mean what drayl said was kinda funny but i cnt seem to bring myself to smile. then on the way to the bus stop i cant stop laughing ... mood swings again. this is crap man. oh wells. anyways we took 61 and stopped at the bus stop opp my house cause i said i feel like eating ljs. lol and we had to walk back to commonwealth mrt. haha. walk half way it rain-ed. aww. then we walked fast fast. then sat in ljs for like damn long until it kinda stopped raining. then stone at the bus stop for quite awhile before girlfriend was all like should i top up my ezlink, in the end he did. lol. we went up to the mrt station and came down again. and well, walked fast for 970. lol came just in time. then homed. haha.

you know, i cnt stop listening to the song baby... cause of you. you know that right? do you?

lol why do i keep asking retarded questions today? feeling soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo retarded.

oh wells, i should update girlfriend's blog now. later i kena from him again.

super loves,
K

2010-03-12T05:17:00.001-08:00

went to the it fair yeaterday with lucas, jun sheng and kendrick. it was super crowded!! i was so afraid i would get lost. but lucas told me to stand infront of him so that i wouldnt. after that we went to eat mac's near bras basah, then to the library and homed. it was rather fun.

i know that i told you that you are smelly and all. but i like your smell. yesterday, somehow i felt like your girl again. seriously. you know, i dont need you to change or anything. i like you just the way you are. you got my addicted to the song baby.

today is the last day of term 1. had lessons as usual, poa, physics and maths the rest is like cme and ace. went home with sis. then rushed for tuition. was abit late but mrs tan said it was okayys. then bused home from there. girlfriend is having camp, take care yeah... dont injured yourself okayys? =]

you rather talk to other ppl, other girls then to talk to me. even if it's not so you give me that kind of impression you know. i feel so bad. super bad. yes jealous. i dont like this feeling. i keep telling myself to get over it. why cant i??????????????????????????????????????????/

now going to update twinie's blog. later,

loves
K

2010-03-10T01:37:00.000-08:00

gosh. worse sports day ever! it's like the slackest sports day ever okayys. nothing much to do and stuff. just sit and stone. oh wells. after which i went to queensway with daryl and twinie. ate laksa.

then rushed home to bathe. and rushed out. then cabbed with twinie and went to cineleisure. 6th floor saw kimberly on the way up. met wee keat they all. got the ticket and went in. twinie said there was like 11 ppl. lol like my birthday last year, also around 11 ppl. then yeah watched alice in wonderland in 3D first time!!! not bad lah but i rather watch the non 3D one. it didnt affect the show though. not bad. immediately after that bus-ed home and waited for twinie's bus to arrive.

still have to go for a lit play later on.aww/ oh wells.

omg. i was so looking forward to seeing you.... but you didnt come today. sad. you know i dun understand why you are like so dun care nowadays.i want to see you so badly. i want you back so badly.

oh wells, gtg prepare now.

Loves
K

2010-03-05T02:43:00.000-08:00

happy birthday lam kwok onn!! =D

my sec one super crush. lol hope you like that present i gave you yeah. and super thanks for you thank you messeges lol. yeah lah i know. damn lame haha. it's been super long since that crush was over man. i still can remember how i used to text you and waited anxiously for your reply. haha. stupid lah.

you know. recently i have been crazy about flowers. seriously. gladys doesnt like it. so our whole conversation became something like this:

me: flower!!!

gladys: no. flower not nice. cannot draw.

me: why? what about trees?

gladys: no.

me: fine. i shall draw grass.

gladys: okayys grass is good.

me: i draw flower grass.

gladys: =.= . no no. grass only.

me: awww.

but i still continue to draw flowers. haha.

wells. pe has been fun this week. mainly cause we actually played!!! haha. funnnnnnnnn. but super tiring and sweaty. then i headed over to c class and was surprised that tan jun sheng was actually using the handphone strap i gave. anyways i had given it to 2 other ppl. one for kwok onn today and another for sui zhi. all unique in their own ways. =] now see weather kwok onn got put anot . lol. i hope that that would be their lucky charm and would bring them luck. =]

and and today there is like this fire drill. and we were Kinda late cause we take our own sweet time walking down . but the grass at the football field is so soft man. omg. super love sitting on it, not running on it but sitting. lol. you ppl should try.

baby, you know, it's not that i dont want to respond to you or what. i just feel so heartbroken everytime i see you. when you called my name, i didnt respond, you just keep calling. and i actually told you that i didnt want to talk to you . but then i gave in afterwards. though it didnt sound kind. and you ended up answering your own questions for me. lol. and i was all like why dont you ask lucas? sorry i am so mean to you but i am really trying to forget. you know, the way you look at me when you talk makes my heart beat so fast? when you look at me straight in the eyes, i feel so lost. tell me, how can i find my way?

oh look you happen to log in. lol. but i am not going to talk to you. cause you wont talk to me anyways. you dont give a shit.

i love you and you know it. =]

Loves
K

2010-02-27T00:47:00.000-08:00

today nth much really. had lit in the morning. 1 and a half hours omg. i was freezing to death. in was damn cold. though i had no mood to study, i managed to force myself to do so. i had no idea how though. so yeah. after that went to queensway with ernest to look for a water bottle and ate lunch too. =] curry chicken. then walked around and home-ed.

sec 4 has been damn busy man. have no time for alot of things. and i certainly dont have time to be entertain anyone else whom i cant be bothered with. tired tired tired. but i can take it man. i know i can, even though i am physically and mentally tired but i am going to push myself cause this is the last year. chiong man.

yes it's true, hokkien is not a valgarity. i totally agree cause i am a hokkien too. it just sounds very rough and certain ppl dont like it. and yeah english is alot better. i agree too. but ever since i entered queenstown, my standred of english have been dropping.therefore i shall try to blog in almost perfect english. =]

yes i have removed my cbox. yvonne was right. blogs dont need to have cboxes. because every other year blogs are spammed by ppl who think that they can intimidate you and stuff. yea i totally agree. because there would be ppl saying that i am a flirt etc etc. but the truth is i dont really care what others think of me. but i dont like the fact that this is my blog and there are others intruding it.

shall update later. going out now. later.

yes, i am in love.

loves,
K

2010-02-25T02:07:00.000-08:00

Happy birthday gladys liu! =]

hope you like the cake okayys. =]

today was like super fail lah omg. haha. but we still manged to pull it through. haha. nick's name got cut and then he scolded chen yan lol. omg. i feel so bad even though everyone is like telling me that it's okayys. sadded. i mean seriously. i am a failed planner even though i did not plan this alone. can you believe it? ah. sian. haha.

so yeah was supposed to accompany girlfriend to the doctor's but then he last min dont want to go liao. so we went tiong instead and he keep stealing my fries. lol.but i just watched him steal haha. abit retarded lah haha. but in any case, we saw alot of queenstownians. lol. abit weird lah. then shop shop abit. and home-ed.

why a sudden change of attitude towards me? i mean i really dont want to have false hopes anymore. i am really very scared. what if i read your actions wrongly?now you are not replying me on msn. but you are like active on facebook. =( why why??

Loves
K

2010-02-17T02:56:00.000-08:00

sian fucking emo-ing... why does it still hurt so much? after sending you that message, though knowing that you wont reply, i keep looking at my phone. hoping that every message that appears is yours. throwing myself at you once again. what is wrong with me man. today i saw you looking, but i ignored you. i pretended not to care. you know how much i want to just stare back? maybe that's cause you are not replying. now i have keep alot of this to myself. cause my best friends have their own problems and i dont want them to worry.you know what? i dont want to drag anymore. seriously. i am just gonna to ask you straight. better reply. but if you dont, i also cnt do anything about it.

today nothing much lah. just alot of pain and sadness. had dnt in the morning. so yeah. fucking fed up. i think i am having mood swings. ah shit. then it was poa. glad and i pon quite a while then the whole class know. lol cause mrs tan was collecting 2 dollars for ledger paper. then realised that we are not in class. haha. then it's recess!! yay!! =] also nothing much. then it's chinese followed by english. =] so yeah. then lunch. and chemistry and ss. got test for ss. i dun think i did very well.

eh. you damn fucked up leh. hope you are reading this man. you want to beat ppl right? then beat lah. see who lose out. at most police report nia. you can make police report against other ppl, others also can file against you lah. dun think you are a guy then i would be scared okayys, you want to hit me right? then hit lah. come and tell me straight dont ask other ppl to come and tell me. fucker. have back up so what? that only shows that you cant be dependent on yourself. you need others to clear your shit for you. dumb ass. you are not the king or what okayys. not everyone have to take your sass. if you werent so fucked up you would still be in the class. bad-tempered so what? stab me lah. dunno how to say anything then dont. cause you are just another fucking jerk. you know how to use vulgarities right? keep using. who dont know? just dun want to so uncivilised, educated like not educated littat. so paranoid, go for a check up lah.

love,
K

2010-02-15T04:50:00.001-08:00

so yeah. stayed at home today. and helped mum in kitchen. =] and watched movie after movie. all comedies. not bad lah. most chi.:D not bad horx. and smsed loh. i know lah quite boring. but okayys leh. i think. at least i get to spend time with mummy. :DD

i wonder... what are you thinking right now? trying not to think about it. trying to be strong. but who am i kidding man. so fucked up. maybe you cnt be bothered and you dun care. is our relationship so not memorable? was the feelings all fake? if not, then how could you forget it all so easily?if there was an eraser that could erase memories, i would use it to erase memories of you and i. so that i could look at you and feel nothing at all. but i cnt. and there isn't such eraser. it still hurts. but i guess i am all used to it. how can i not be after living with it for so long? putting poohger by my bedside. trying to ignore it, sometimes even thought of throwing it away... too much tears, pain, love and feelings have been put in. memories... all encased inside. but i cnt bear to. why is letting go of you so hard?

a world without you... feels so cold. and lonely.

Loves,
K

2010-02-13T19:37:00.000-08:00

heyheys. happy cny everyone!! and valentine's day. =] i hope everyone can find their true love and get loads and loads of ang bao. =]

now am rotting infront of the computer. waiting for dad to come and fetch us. omg. bored ttmax. haha. sian sian sian . wake up early in the morning to have mac's breakfast. dad and mum bought it. =] oh wells. spent the whole day yesterday helping mum in the kitchen and buying things at supermarket. haha omg it's crowded with aunties okayys. and i cnt find the mayo. omg. what is this world turning into. no labels deh. find until i damn sian. in the end also didnt use.=.= oh wells.

now my nails are of cny colour. mummy actually allowed us to buy nail polish yeasterday. even though she hated the smell but she knew that we liked to colour our nails. haha.=] bel's one is of pink coated with a hint of sliver. sweet huh.

valentine's day... doesnt seem like one. my heart is broken into a million pieces and no one can heal it but him. i shall try to cheer up and not think about it. okayys. i am neo karen and i can totally live without him.

woman!! must stay strong. i am really afraid you will fall ill cause of this. i really cnt bear to see things take a turn for the worse. i know it's hard and the pain is excruciating. but waiting is really all you can do.

loves
K

2010-02-12T03:40:00.000-08:00

I AM SO ADDICTED TO THE SONG CONTAGIOUS!!!

today is friday!! and we had celebration in school for lunar new year. =D the ne clip was actually interesting. lol. whoa. got cartoon somemore. haha. and and mr chong gave us ang baos!!! :DD then it was physics with mrs gan. went through the test. i actually scored higher then rex for the first time!! yay!! 10.5 upon 15 cool lah. but the highest was annan 13.5 and he got chocolate. lol. i also want. lol. then celebration concert. still can lah. there is this video where everyone gave their wishes and stuff and the last part was ng. lol. about the sink hole thingy lah. haha. and the teacher actually showed it infront of the whole school. lmao. confirm die liao. haha.

then went with glad and chen yan to bugis. ate mac's. twister fries was awesome. haha. theb shop shop awhile and i need to go for tuition. so went off. tried to rush. but was still late. then when going off cher told me that i am lazy today. and i said it's cause luanr new year is coming. haha. then she laughed and said okayy and let me off. haha

was supposed to meet zach but he got some family problems so yeah. maybe i should let his present rott. haha. nah i be nice. :D

i want your answer but i know you need time. i guess i am going to wait again. i dunno if i should. i really dunno what to do anymore.

loves,
K

2010-02-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

heyheys. bloggin after dunno how long sia. awesome. =] lol. so yeah chinese new year is coming and so is valentine. cant wait for that 3 days holiday. =] too much has been going on and i have no idea where to start. oh wells. made tiramisu today. it was nice. like really nice. lol. but still there is raw egg inside but it's frozen so yeah. lol.

finished up english today and wrote letters =]. couldnt push myself to finish up lit. was busy sms-ing. haha. while writing the letters. i thought about how everything used to be two years ago. it seems like it was yesterday, yet kinda faraway. yeah i know it sounds weird. lol. maybe not pharsed properly bah.

no mood to blog today.

baby, all i know right now is that i love you.

loves,
K

2010-02-03T03:32:00.000-08:00

it all seems so fragile. people whom i always thought were having a stable and loving relationship, suddenly have problems and it all just come crumbling down. worst of all, their partners dont think that they are in the wrong. and yes, as usual it hurts. if you really love someone, would you bear to even hurt that person? i remember being in their shoes last year. and was probably rotting.

today a traumatic event occurred. someone got canned and apparently glad and i had the front row seats. =( i have no idea why but it's kind of uncomfortable watching a classmate get canned. yet other ppl tell me it's just canning. alot of ppl 4C wanted to watch. they damn sadistic man. LOL see that lucas? you are a sadist!! the thing is we all lost our appetite. and it's like that kind of nervous feeling you cant get rid of. heart pumping really fast. and we got scolded by the vp. he doesnt put himself in our shoes. anyone would feel uncomfortable watching their classmate get canned. he thinks that we are trying to support that guy by going out of class. cause he said anyone who feels uncomfortable can go out and the whole class went out. then he called us in again and said the girls can go out but there were more girls then boys. well one or two bah. so he called all of us back. lol. joke.

baby, i feel so alone today. i need your warmth. i need you. but you were busy doing your maths during lunch in your super messy writing. lol. i wanted so much to go over there and just sit beside you. but i pretended i didnt care. cause i am still trying to get over you.

girlfriend!! dun be sad okayys? at least you ppl got into the second round. all the way man! all the way. =]

to forget you: it's impossible. every fragments of certain things reminds me of you.

Loves,
K

2010-01-29T05:11:00.000-08:00

two test almost everyday. omg. and almost every other day i tell myself after today it will be more relaxing. who am i kidding man! lol. now every saturday must go back to school for chemistry and ss. it's like school 6 days per week!! omg. sian ttmax.

oh wells, today after school went to c class tried to talk to lucas but jun sheng and kenneth said that they owned him what the.. zzz. lucas thieves!!! bleah. then went for tuition. lol. was sitting outside the front gate waiting for my dad then happen to see lucas, jun sheng and joeyang.lol said bye then littat loh. haha

baby, i feel so empty without you. for the past few days i was forced to faced you without showing how i really feel. deep inside i am crying. i miss you. i didnt expect myself to cry because of you. until now we are still arguing. lol. i dont want to look straight into your eyes because i feel like i would melt in them and give myself away.

SUI ZHI SUCKS!!!!!! =]

loves,
Karen

2010-01-22T03:56:00.000-08:00

so yeah. today we dont much lessons. poa was okay i guess then it was physics chapter 1-7 test!! lol. after which was ace. lol nth much we did our own things then recess!!! erm, went to b class, then accompanied chen yan to do her maths for awhile. after that was maths, got back our test. but did do peer tutoring. sad. lol then cme we played catching. the lao ying zhuo xiao ji. fun! though lame but fun haha. and mr chong thought i was sick cuz i was wearing jacket LOL.

after school stood outside c class to wait for b class to finish lol. damn lame right? but yeah thn twinie waited for me to get my bag before going to tiong. we waited for the bus. damn long. then when we finally got to tiong, we went up to look at presents for clarissa. but couldnt find anything suitable. and we went to eat kfc!! very full!! lol. but nice. :D thn waited for dad to fetch me to tuition, on the way we dropped twinie off at orchard. haha. tuition seems short today. hmms.

i really dunno what to say when you told me that. i always thought you as my best friend. i feel so confused. no wonder you asked me weather i was still going for ___ . but what you want me to say? i mean it kinda hard for me to accept you. i know you are a nice guy. i really do. i just dunno how to respond.

baby, rejecting guys for you. but it useless anyways. being their girl wouldnt make me any happier. it doesnt feel right when he is not you.=( how i wish you could understand.

loves,
K

2010-01-19T04:47:00.000-08:00

today we had pe in the morning, ran 3 rounds outside. and the boys were singing a song about mr ang when we were running the first round. haha. then after running played captain's ball haha. after that was physics. okay lah not as sian as i thought it would be. then maths. but miss wooi let us off early so we had 2 recesses. lol. cool. thn electives... it's damn cold lah. feel like sleeping then it's english at the avt. apparently no one holded th door and it was locked. glad and i was banging at the door. haha. damn lame lah. haha and benedict opened the door he was all like orh, your are late. lol. after that was lunch then mt and maths. lol. had maths test. cnt finish in time. awwwwwwww.

after school i immediately rushed down. and aisha was all like you are late. and i was like i had test lah. then she kept quiet. hah. lol. in the end didnt get much things done. miss khoo put me in charge again. ii sat there with the other ppl doing their hw. then on the way back saw nic from 4c. dunno how to spell his name. and then chat with the daniel from 4e for a while at blk 7 then went home.

i feel like such a fucking retard. anyone can tell that i like him. sian...... everyone but me. i am like so trying to avoid it. i know it's so impossible but i feel like as if i am throwing myself at him. like such a bitch. trying not to talk to him. but i cnt help but stare. sometimes i am not staring at him but he happened to walk past when i am staring outside and day-dreaming. lol. sian-ed.

baby, i dont know what to say to you anymore. maybe... our fate has ended.=(

loves,
K

edit-ed

2010-01-15T02:04:00.000-08:00

just had tuition today. first tuition !! lol. it turned out fine. haha. today nth much. menstrual cramps damn pain.but glad went down to get me a hot cup of milo up. thanks!! i super love her man. <33 went to eat lunch with baby and home-ed with twinie. then dad fetched me to tuition.

i have no clue what you want man. i mean i really dun want to admit that i am still in love with you. argh fuck lah.

aww, bestie. i know she wants to get back with you andd restore that friendship. i am not jealous or anything, just scared that i would lose you.i dun want you to think that i am so selfish as to want to keep you to myself. it's just i am scared that if you restore you friendship to how it was last time, you wouldnt have time for me and stuff. i am really scared cuz i dun want to lose you... i feel so selfish. sorry for being littat but i am only human...

=(

"i hate the way i feel when i look at you everytime."

loves,
K

2010-01-14T05:06:00.000-08:00

omg second week of school and i feel so depressed. saw zach today. =] he cut his hair. and he seems tensed. i guess it's probably from th pressure of being sec 4s. in any case i waited and in the process saw lucas, murcus, joyce, and hong yi. lol. so many!!

today had dnt in the morning, did mindmap and sat with lucas to help him better but he keeps running around!! aiyo. chewing on lolipop stick somemore. mr chong said that he looked like a kid during dnt haha. so cute. then had recess followed by lit, maths and health check up. lol. then lunch and chi and chem. =] i just found out today that rex gave me the tin that was under my table for a super long time. lol i thought whose one sia. lol.

in any case, i feel fucking disturbed and restless nowadays. i have no clue man. pardon if i said anything fucking rude or shitty things cause i am feeling damn shitty. damn down. =(please understand, but if you wana bear a grudge then thr is nth i cn do. oh wells, too bad.

fuck lah, i hate the fact that i am so in love with you.

loves,
K

2010-01-09T00:59:00.000-08:00

i miss you. i hate to admit it but i do. hugging pooh pooh every night when going to bed. even though i am dead tired from other things but yet i feel so empty. i told myself not to think about it. to just let it go cause our fate has ended. i am trying so hard. struggling inside. i feel so cold and so alone. but i guess it's just me. you wont feel a thing now.

today is cca open house. omg!! sec 1s are so cute! well at least some of them. lol. the ones that join drama haha. and i saw alot of ppl. rex as well. i took his bag and he took mine. but in the end still gonna have to exchange it back. awww, his bag is nice to carry!! haha. drama's booth closed damn early. so i went to chat with jeric, rex , deborah and roland is there too.. but i didnt say bye to him cause we are not too familiar with each other. i hope he doesnt mind. =D

so yeah ytd after school i went to Dawson with glad. after eating i smsed miss khoo. then while waiting for her reply i went to the dance room along with see teng, liyi and glad. then played poker. =] until jialin called then met her and sipei and went for dance. whoa 4 hours straight. damn pain sia.

i need you to fill the emptiness in my heart and to complete my life.

loves,
K

2010-01-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

today is lyk the fourth day of school. and... it feels lyk more than a week since i came back. right now i am in the computer lab desprately looking for a heart picture. it is tedious! i came straight from class after my lessons. and i havent eaten. ah...

sec four is seriously VERY tiring. i still cnt believe that i am a sec four now.it all doesnt seem like 2010. and when mr khoo was talking about o levels dnt. i am all lyk omg! so fast? we are getting our theme on monday. =( so want to see it now!!!already planning ahead for the cousre work. 20 weeks!! and mr chong is taking over temporarily next week. omg. i cnt imagine to have to start my o levels course work so soon. hoping that ideas will miraculously come to me, so that i cn stay at home in the four walls staring at the door, my handphone, the celling and stuff, lyk what mr khoo said. i dont wana have to go out and sit on an mrt to orchard just to OBSERVE ppl. cause i would have the temptation to call my friends out for shopping. lol

seeing you almost every other day when i wanted to avoid you. the more i try to avoid you, the more i actually want to see you. so ironic. omg. no. i should be forgetting you. not bloggin about you. damn!

why cnt i forget you?

loves
K

2010-01-01T07:16:00.000-08:00

A very happy 2010 to all out there! =] apparently i was at home separating seaweeds for my grandmother when it turned 12am lol. and my family was all lyk happy new year!!!! haha. so spent the first day of the new year at my grandparent's house. my cousins were there too. it was kinda fun. doing sand painting and all. things that i havent done since primary 5. awwwwww. makes me forget almost worries that are happening now.

oh wells, there is a new year to look ahead. =]

a new year has arrived. i hope you are going to have a wonderful year ahead too. i just need you to know that whatever happens this year, i would always be there for you.and i am just a phone call away. even though things are awkward between us, we are still friends. =]

loves,
K

2009-12-30T03:59:00.000-08:00

so yeah . we didnt watch avatar today. instead, we watched alvin and the chipmunks 2.. it is damn cute. the storyline is not veh good, but it is adorable nonetheless. lol. especially theodore!! haha. twinie brought his bro along(as usual), met them at orchard mrt lol. then went on to ask for directions to cine. but the first woman gave veh confusing directions and twinie got messed up haha. so we went on to the information counter this time it was much easier. haha. but we almost got lost. and had to cross the road two times haha.

then bought the tickets and went to wisma to eat. saw twinie's uncle and his gf. damn pretty!! haha. and twinie was right, i cnt finish the beef noodles haha. then they went on to pay for their meal at their uncle's. after which we went back to get popcorn combo. large one cuz 3 of us sharing. in the end we didnt manage to finish it. and all of us felt damn full. and the show finished earlier then expected. twinie wanted to come to my house cuz my mum wanted to see him but she was not at home. so we went home. =D

thanks twinie, for accompanying your bro and i to watch the show even though you regretted in the end and felt that you had made a bad decision. and for trying to go out even though you might not be able to. for alot of things you done and gave. i really appreciate it. =] i know that i may not be a very good friend but i will be there whenever you need a friend to talk. i know tht i dun understand alot of things, but i try my veh best to listen. =]

loves,
K

2009-12-29T20:25:00.000-08:00

mon had dance practice for 3 hous plus. tues went out with danny and yi zhe. and late on i am going out with twinie to watch avatar.better not be late. haha. if not have to buy his ticket. lol.

school is starting next week. i cn feel the pressure.yet i cnt wait to get back to school and see everyone!! lol.especially him. have no idea why i cnt seem to forget him... oh wells. i am just gonna have to try...

going off soon. most probably blogging later bah.

Loves,
K

2009-12-27T18:57:00.000-08:00

went out to watched Sherlock Holmes yesterday and attended a party at my uncle's house in sentosa afterwards. spent Christmas at my grandparent's house and went out with bel, louis and zach on sat. so i guess the last 3 days have been pretty eventful.

Sherlock Holmes is absolutely awesome. =] seriously. at first i wasn't too keen on watching it. but then i went to watch it anyways. and it turned out pretty cool. and funny too. unexpected, which makes it interesting. it is a movie i strongly recommend. =]

sat was fun. our first stop was sticky at central.then to burger king to have lunch. it was practically empty. after eating wee still sat there and played taiti. we were really loud. and louis dropped a whole tray on the floor. good thing there wasnt any fries there anymore. then we went to douby ghout. to play jubeat. for the first time i played and failed.. not really badly. but nevertheless, failed. lol. after all that, we went on to go home and zach and louis came along with us. but lois had to go home shortly after. and the funniest thing was he locked himself outside and realised that his bag was inside. haha. i stood there and laughed at him. lol.

oh wells. there is still dance later on at 5.30. guess maybe i would post later or tmr. toodles!!

loves,
K

2009-12-24T05:07:00.000-08:00

today went to pulau ubin! but then i didnt go to marc's party. awww. sad... currently at my grandparents house. today is really fun! at first it was really sticky. cause it was raining practially the whole morning! and i didnt bring spare clothes. lol. in the end we got rain coats. haha. we went to chek jawa wetland. it was beautiful! the weather was nice too cause it stopped raining. haha. walked quite a few miles and also got to see how ppl lived there. they had simple lives. there were alot of insects there!! the ants are ginormous!!! seriously! i mistook them for a spider and screamed!! my aunt and granddad laughed at me. cause alot of ppl turned back to look. lol. so ps.

after we went back to singapore mainland, we went to eat jap food!! it is damn nice lah. but also damn ex. seriously, one bowl of rice and tempura for 10?! and ramen for 14 ++ omg!! super ex. we also ate ice cream and after we ate, my granddad say other places eat 5+ only. lol

how am i going to sleep without pooh pooh today? i didnt bring it out with me. neither did i bring tigger. i told my auntie and she laughed and said that i can be owl liao. no need to sleep liao. so sad.

oh wells,merry christmas eve ppl.=] sleep well to ying jie christmas.haha.

loves,

2009-12-22T22:49:00.000-08:00

i was blog hopping earlier. went to bel's blog.. i really miss her man. sleeping with my parents for the past 2 days and i am having weird dreams... lol. seriously. lyk skateboarding. LOL super weird.

ytd, went out with louis and zach. it was funnn!! haha. mainly cuz i was super bored. lol. then they went to my house and we had dinner. taiti-ed and watch tv. also used com. lol and they watched some lame video online lol. and zach cnt stop laughing. he is super lame. i swear. haha.

i am so addicted to the song miserable at best by mayday parade. i have no idea why. but it's nice. emo but nice!! lol.

tmr i am going to pulau ubin in the morning and evening to marc's house. haha. gonna be so damn tired. must sleep earlier haha. and i just realised that i havent gotten marc a christmas present.. ah dammit. need to go shopping b4 attending the party tmr. but dunno what to buy.... shall think about it tmr.

when i was blog hopping , i realised that alot of ppl were blogging about relationships and stuff, and how it hurts. yeah i know how they feel... but sometimes we need to look foreword and not back. i know it's kinda ironic for me to say it cause i am not entirely over him. but think about it. isnt it true?

bleah. oh so excited about tmr!! haha. well sortda... dammmit i am becoming so random!

loves,
K

2009-12-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

omg. oh so bored!! wanted to ask ppl to go out. then i saw louis's msg , asking if i am free cuz he is also bored i guess. our lives without bel is lyk so boring. oh wells. she is coming back tmr. =] slept in my parent's room cuz i cnt sleep alone. =( it feels so empty.

i had this dream last night. about you and me. (again!) it seemed so real. am i still thinking about you? i wished it was... but it will never come true. cuz right now we are so far apart.it was a sweet dream... but nevertheless, a dream.

loves,
K

2009-12-21T06:11:00.000-08:00

so yeah. today supposed to go out and meet hunney.. in the end, i had to go home alone without meeting her. sad. but on the way home, i saw this red and blue bee!!! so cute!! part of a promotional stunt. then came home, after awhile found that meimei sprained her leg.=( surfed th net and went for dance. thn had dinner with si pei and i saw sufi at redhill, he was jogging. lol

no body is at home now. i am all alone. chatting with glad, shawn gor and rex(in bangkok!!)lol. wa talking to lucas and him but he was busy and in a convo with jialin and lucas, lucas wanted to sleep. lol. so yeah.

feel so zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! supposed to have dinner with twinie. but he wasnt allowed to go training. so yeah

"it's every little thing you do, makes me fall in love you."

loves,
K

2009-12-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

so bored now man. there is still dance practice later at 5.30. oh wells. holidays seems so boring.... it's like i want it to end at the same time i dont... cuz once the holidays end, i'll be a sec 4. o levels and blah blah blah. so damn busy man. next year school is gonna end at 3.30 and each period will be an hour. and so many things i need to do... gosh...

i am so in need of tuition.

anyone received the ngee ann poly postcard inviting you to their open house?? if yes are you going??? 7-9 jan 2010

Loves,
K

2009-12-20T04:27:00.000-08:00

i was packing earlier today, threw away alot of things and realised that i have lost someone really important... it's lyk he would use to group with me for projects, go out if i asked,pei me talk and sms if i wanted to. but now... he wouldnt even pick up my call, reply me sms or even go out with me. argh... so fed up with myself.

dont know what to think anymore.

loves,
K

2009-12-17T23:44:00.000-08:00

omg i am so bored. oh so bored!!! have no clue why... feel so empty. and yeah. ytd went to sentosa. saw baby titus!!!!!!!!! he is soo cute!! he know how to say apple!! haha then we ate ice cream. 3 tubs and we cnt even finish....................... haha saded. louis was with us. =]

i had this dream that i have a dog... when i woke up it was gone. ohhs wells.

baby, i am so sorry..

loves,
K

2009-12-15T22:36:00.000-08:00

it's starting to feel lyk a never ending love story, except now... there is not much of love... it's just my one sided crush... trying not to think about it but it keeps coming back. i feel lyk as if i am not good enough... was i wrong? to love you when i know you wouldnt love me back. at least not anymore. to cry when i know you wouldnt give a damn. to care for you when i know and i dont expect any returns. how am i supposed to show that i am really sorry for hurting you th first time round? and that no matter what others say, i never gave up on you. i am trying to let go. so that both of us can be happier. but it's so hard. sometimes. when i close my eyes, memories flood my mind. those times that made me feel so indifferent, loved. and i knew, no matter how high i climb,i am not afraid to fall, because you would be there to break my fall. but now, i am afraid to climb... to even try... afraid that i would hit the cold hard floor if i fall. it would be back to square1... it was so hard to get out of it. i feel so empty. lyk sth thing is missing. but yet i cnt seem to figure it out. sometimes i want to set things right. but they never seem to work. i feel like an utter failure.

Love,
K

141209

2009-12-13T23:43:00.001-08:00

sat went to grandma's house to swim... it was fun. and i found out sth else that made me realise that some people's mentality does not grow with age. anyways, was supposed to go out with zach today to get marc's present. but we postponed it to tmr. so yeah. cnt resist the temptation of maple. haha. going to get my second job soon! i know what alot of ppl will be thinking. lyk omg so slow. but let me tell you first hand i am not hard core. haha. so yeah. now zach is out.. and i am stuck at home. awwwwwwwwwwww. sad. oh wells. back to maple. =]

baby... i feel so lost without you.

loves,
K

2009-12-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

so yeah. yesterday went for dance practice from 6 pm to 8.30pm. before that had dinner with zach. well sorta cause I didn't feel like eating much. haha. then walked with him from tiong to redhill. it was fun.then met Jialin there. hugged zach and he left for his grandma's house. after which Jialin and I went for dance at leng kee cc. walked to redhill with si pei and bought cherry cherry soda freezeand homed.

baby,I had this dream about you. about me, about us. it seemed so real. but when I woke up, you were no longer there. I dun understand why I having all these dreams, when I thought I am so over you.sometimes I wish it was real. but nevertheless it's all just a dream.

' now it's too late to turn it around.'

loves,
K.

2009-12-08T23:09:00.000-08:00

' i am sorry for the tears i made you cry'

i dunno what to think anymore. i feel so lost. so alone. no one else is going to walk down this path with me. it's like standing on a battlefield alone with no one to back you up. cnt help but feel sad at times. i want to forget so many things. but i cnt seem to.

today i did 3 hours of studying. while smsing glad and marc. ate lunch with mum. sis went to work today. can concentrate better alone. and i am not going out anymore. at least not for today. marc's dad changed his mind all of a sudden. so not going already. sad.

"It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone, when your heart still does."

loves

081209

2009-12-07T19:42:00.000-08:00

omg. tuesday today.. somehow, it doesnt feel lyk it. ytd was so eventful, i didnt really have any trouble sleeping. ytd after ard 9pm i accompanied twinie to eat dinner. we ate at bk. he couldnt finish his burger. omg. he cnt really eat much after he came back from china. sad lah. and zach became really... i dunno busy, tired and stuff... it feels lyk as if he is very sick. =(

going for dance practice on fri. 6 pm. at leng kee cc... i feel damn stress. th way my parents and even sis are talking about studies. they dun allow miie to go for b'ball and much less, work. i feel so trapped. is that how all th sec 4s feel? i feel lyk as if time is running out. and i cnt do anything about it. =(

is it you? or is it just me?

Loves,
K

2009-12-07T03:45:00.000-08:00

so yeah. went down to dover to play b'ball with yi zhe. thn his friends came and i watched them play awhile. thn they ask miie to play. i just stand thr and dribble cuz they also dun dare touch me. haha. in th end, i pass all to yi zhe. dun feel lyk playing. thn went to eat hotdog.with bacon and cheese. thn he had to go home.so he couldnt pei miie home. but he told miie to text him when i get home.

thn called twinie, he was on th way to training, stopped by my house to pass miie my present from china. it is lyk a keychain with my chi name. =] damn nice. thn he rest for awhile and went off liao. haha. i love th key chain lah!! thanks twinie!! =]

i have decided to take up jia lin's offer and join ching gay. cuz mummy dun allow me to go for b'ball anymore. and it's is a rare chance. why not?

i dunno anymore lah. why is everyone changing so much? =( promise is a really big word. if you cnt keep it thn dun promise miie anything. cuz you keep breaking it....

i am not even sure if it is love...

Loves.
K

2009-12-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

today had training. 3 hours. at first i thought no one was thr, wanted to go home alr. thn jose came, so both of us waited for th rest. until char came thn we did warm up and ran, everyone ran one round while dribbling th ball. did shooting, tactics and played match too. very long never play liao. still damn blur. dots. later on while walking to cold storage, i called twinie to see if he was available for lunch. but he didnt pick up thn i called yi zhe. later going to play b'ball with him. actually mainly just shooting. and twinie called back but he was in novena, training... with sji ppl. he wan sji boy dun wan me. LOL. damn lame right? but yeah. thn bought orange juice and now home liao. =]

so yeah. ytd went to attend wedding... shao yun biao yi is so pretty lah!! sat thr and eat. thn my cousins keep playing with my phone. lol. after that went to meet yi zhe and walked around vivo. damn sian. thn went to candy empire and bought candies(obviously) thn went to tiong and had dinner at kfc. ate only a burger. lol. thn walked all th back to school and took bus home. he sent miie to th void deck at my block. =]

omg so gtg and bathe liao. ltr still going out. but to play b'ball... =]

sometimes i wonder if you even notice.

Loves,
K

2009-12-04T23:50:00.000-08:00

it has been raining today. omg. super hate rainy days. addison is going for his cca camp. but he promised to msg me on tues. before that have b'ball training on mon, have to go as i promised char. the past few trainings didnt go cuz woke up too late to see th msg. argh... feel so lazy.=P

zach is coming back today!! yay!! but so far he hasn't msg or anything. so maybe not back yet bah. maybe on th way instead. =( miss him lah.

omg so need to study later. finish up my Chinese. homework sia. and i actually forgotten that i had other homeworks... lol. so bored. going down to get things for my sis to eat.

somehow, i know that it is no longer possible between us. but baby, i cnt help feeling alone and that i need you here with me...

Loves,
K

2009-12-03T07:27:00.000-08:00

Just had supper with my family and somehow it was a rather short one compared to our usual supper. When we usually drag a lot. So yeah. Zach is coming back on sat. But dunno what time. And twinie is coming back tmr also dunno what time. Two weeks without zach and one week without twinie is so boring. Mum keeps nagging and I feel so frustated. But I can't seem to get my study started. Dun understand why. I want to start studying and fast!!!!!! Omg. I wonder when I am going to get my prepaid man. So frustrating lah. Parents told us every month give me top up but now I have to go get myself.....

Baby, I often wonder what is on your mind. I miss you.

Love,
K

2009-12-01T07:46:00.000-08:00

omg... trying to study.. but so hard. hah.talked to yizhe on th phone. and well cooked with mummy!! sis went to chalet so was lyk all alone with the book or sth. sad. went to do hair treatment and trim ytd. sat thr for lyk 2 hours plus. wth. lol

ytd you talk to me on msn.. i didnt know that you would come and talk to me yourself.i mean after what happened between us.i feel comfortable talking to you. maybe it's cuz we known each other for a long time... i miss you.

I AM SO NOT ADDICTED TO MAPLE!!

maybe

loves,
K

2009-11-29T03:29:00.000-08:00

Have been spending th past few days preparing for the school's open house and my aunt's wedding. tiring. but it was all over yesterday. both events took place yesterday.

in the morning, went to skol for open house. stayed abit after my shift to help out more. thn went with my whole family to finish up th shopping spree for the wedding later on at night. louis came shortly after. ate long john's and saw luqman. apparently he worked there. =] thn went to play pool with louis and sis. until around 4 plus. reached home ard five plus and started preparing to go out already. omg heels are so hard to balance man. cant even walk properly. LOL. first time wearing heels. cnt blame me right? hah.

whoa. 2 weeks seems so long. only 1 week and one day has passed. sad. dec is coming. and i feel like as if i am running out of time. i miss you. i dunno if you feel th same over thr. but yeah. people keep asking if you are my boyfriend. LOL. i guess you would have to answer that for yourself huh. but it's fun with you ard.=]
sometimes i wish you were here
loves,
K

2009-11-26T02:43:00.000-08:00

haven't been blogging for the past few days, had drama today. yes i knoe it is a Thursday. but i needed to help miss Khoo. so yeah. kerthana and i were in the com lab after setting up everything. and she was blog hopping and came across this blog. i read it and it was hilarious. the way they talk about those people was rather insulting but it is the truth. i am not going to elaborate. just scroll down and click on the aal link. it would make you people laugh your ass off. i swear.

even if it is just one second, i just want to be by your side. i know that it is no longer possible between us. i never expected you to love me back. i thought i had forgotten about you. but it hurts even at the mention of your name. other girls tell me that you are cute, that you are not bad. all i can do is smile but it hurts. i dont understand why, why i cnt get over you. memories keep flooding my mind. i still keep pooh pooh by my bedside. i cnt bear to throw it away.

' it's playing on repeat...'

loves,
K

2009-11-23T03:33:00.000-08:00

" when you are in love, you cant fall asleep because reality is better then your dreams."
dr suese

"You come to love not by finding the perfect person but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly"
sam keen

got these from yvonne ah mah's blog.thanks ah mah!! it is so true. it's weird how someone who is so imperfect to others could seem so perfect in your eyes. it's lyk they can never do sth wrong and you feel that he is too good for you. maybe that is why love is blind? haha. kinda hurts too.

it leaves you in a state of confusion when you dunno if you are really in love. kinda forgetten how love feels lyk. seems to hurt alot and somehow dun feel lyk touching it.

well.. am i in love? someone tell miie!!

Loves,
K

2009-11-23T02:11:00.000-08:00

omg lah. bored ttmax!!

this morning made pancakes with sis and louis. okayy lah. i was busy go down to buy things and stuff. th pancakes was damn filling lah! but not bad. thn we told mum she no need to buy lunch instead she can eat at home. thn she ate th pancakes and say not bad. haha. yay!

so yeah. played maple for awhile!! not bad leh. kinda lyked it!! zach is going to say i told you so when he gets back from india lol.

swimming with shawn this fri. should i go? or maybe just a movie with marc? hmmms.

Loves,
K

2009-11-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Clareeeeeeee!!!
ahh. lazy lazy sunday.... sun is shining oh- so- brightly. woke up ard 9 plus when i slpt at 2 plus ytd.. omg. couldnt sleep. thinking about how is he overseas and some other things. went to talk to dad as he was awake and eating pineapple tarts. =].

so yeah. miss zach alot. damn sian lah. without him. second day nia. marc misses him too... right now he is lyk burning his ass off at india.... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Loves,
K

2009-11-21T03:29:00.000-08:00

went to vivo with clareeeeeee today. tmr is her birthday. haha. so yeah. we went to sky park, daiso and candy empire. ate alot of things until damn full. took alot of pics. haha. =] more on facebook. =]

cnt help but keep missing him. lolx . also dunno why. feeling guai guai deh. could it be what shawn gorx said? if it is i think i am going to get myii heart broken once more. argh. dun wana think about it but it keeps getting into myii head. omg.

loves
K

2009-11-20T18:34:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWINIE!!!

so yeah. waited for 12 last night to send a happy birthday msg to him haha. but i cnt be thr for his birthday. sry!>

couldnt get to slp last night. zach is reaching th airport at 12 and flying off ard 2 plus. and right now he is on th train to ragistan.( dunno how to spell.) so yeah. last night was talking to him after i blogged and stuff. 15 days. have to wait lyk 2 more weeks before i cn talk to him again... argh sian. ytd was super fun. we made a deal that when he came back, we are going out again and this time, more photos! haha. cuz th album ytd was 90% him. =] lol. whoa he was right. without him quite sian leh. haha. not good. miss him.

so yeah tmr clareeeeeeeee's birthday. wans to ask her to go out. but nobody is picking up her house phone. miss her lah. haha. she has been with miie for lyk 7 years. =] yay! next year eight liao. haha. loveeeeeeeeee her lah.

i am so confused right now. is this just a crush or more then that? if we are just friends why do i feel tat way ard him? omg. i cnt lyk him.

Loves,
K

2009-11-20T02:20:00.000-08:00

have been meeting zach for th past 3 days now. funnnnnnnnnnnnnn! but tmr he is going to india alr. sad.. so yeah. wed we went to get somethings for his trip and he treat miie chocolate bubble tea. awesome. haha.it is damn nice. and he also lyk honeydew. yay! so yeah. we went to imm. thn walked around. bought his things and walked somemore. =] saw dee at daiso. said hi to her. haha.

thursday, went to marc's for dinner.saw syareena on myii way thr. played uno spin with marc and his sisters. zach was 5 hrs late. he came in thn scared miie from behind by grabbing myii shoulders and said boo. i scaremed. what th... and during dinner he kept pin pointing at miie. bleah. luckily for him, marc is his riot shield. haha. played with tasha( marc's dog) for while. thn his dad sent miie home. haha.

today is lyk an almost whole day event. went with zach to buy th remaining stuff for his trip to india. met him at 10.30 at jurong east mrt. had breakfast at his house. haha. his step mum told miie that th sausage we had for breakfast was his fav kind of sausage. lol. he eat until damn full. thn we went to AMKhub. cuz his step mum has something to attend to. so we stayed thr for about 2 to 3 hours. walked and walked ard.

thn we went to a nearby sports shop. 3rd and 4th floor. th view was damn nice. i stood at th railing and looked down. thn he said tat he could carry miie and i would feel lyk as if i was falling. i didnt believe he could carry miie. thn he said, i prove to you. and carried miie. damn scary lah. omg. haha

after which, we ate andersons ice cream! damn nice. pics onn facebook yeah. he treat. haha. after which went to army market at beach road. it was damn cool lah. i had an interest for army stuff since young. but didnt pursue it somehow. he said that i shdnt also. cuz i am a girl. LOL he showed miie his ranking and stuff. =] cool lah.

went back to th car and headed for orchard to get his india money. =] thn headed for queensway, his step mum went to eat laksa while he and i went to look for his pants and walked ard. haha. finally found them. walked for awhile more. thn headed back to th laksa stall to look for his step mum. ate thr too. =] thn his step mum fetch miie to the bus stop. i walked home.=]

aww. you go india must take care horx. thr veh cold at night dehs. you shd have listened to your step mum lah. gonna miss you during these 15 days. haha. no one to talk to during late nights. aww. haha.

Loves
K

2009-11-17T18:22:00.000-08:00

so yeah. i am lyk super bored now. holidays are making miie feel damn sian. it's lyk bored ttmax! nth to do but stay home. need to start studying soon yeah. cant seem to in th afternoon though. dunno why. twinie's birthday is lyk this sat. and and next sat is lyk open house liao. sad. zach is flying for india this sat. =( so yeah. need someone to pei miie. aww. damn sad lah.

sometimes we all try too hard to be someone we are not. to be someone we want to be. not who we are. but others have to understand that its hard to find who you really are. hard to realise. when you are blinded by what you want. it's not easy either. ppl label you. but why do we try so hard to achieve something? cuz we want it.

i just listened to only recording we have during our first five months. it seemed so happy. i miss you. miss your voice. miss every little thing about you. and and pooh pooh needs it's daddy too. myii heart is damn pain. ppl say i need a new stead. i dun think i would get one anytime soon. cuz i dun think i am loved. =(

baby... i feel so alone.

loves,
K

2009-11-17T03:54:00.000-08:00

omg so fucking pissed with my family right now. so yeah. my parents are accusing me me things I didn't do. it is always my fault when my sis is unreasonable, I on the com to use then she comes home and bugs it saying that she wants to use. she hogs it and mum starts asking her to go bathe. she bathed and then sat in the room doing dunno what shit thing. so obviously I use la. then she comes out sees me in the chair and screams her ass off. she assumes that I am not using it in the first place. then she say what I use the com when she is using. what the. and then it ended in heated argument and now she is in her room sobbing and saying that she hates this family.

what the hell is wrong with her ? can't she see what this family has done for her? fuck la. and I am the one that has to sit outside and get all the scoldings and the pin pointings. say something also cannot. I tolerated like all her sass and all her shit.give in to her all the time. keep her company when she is ill. I dun mind not getting any returns but why am I always the one that gets hurt? that gets all those shit stuff. didn't I work hard enough? I feel so fucking alone. it hurts and no one is here for me.

loves,
K.

2009-11-16T18:42:00.000-08:00

omg drama ltr. dun feel lyk going. woke up ard lyk 10 plus today. felt damn bleah. so yeah. facebooking and was photobucketing. =] love editing pics now. haha. and and just joined twitter. not bad. but lyk quite boring leh. i think i shall stick to facebook. and and i am lyk 115 mil onn ffs.

so yeah. ytd went to eat'lunchner' with twinie after his sl camp. it was fun and i have his shirt. i have to wawsh it. cuz i dropped it on th floor ytd. ohhs wells. i told twinie that zach said i am his property cuz he wrote his name on myi leg. thn twinie said that i am his property cuz he owns miie on ffs. and he was lyk he cn buy you thn say lah. lolx. thn zach said that twinie owns miie virtually but he owns miie physically. so i am going to try to get the pen mark off myii thigh. haha.

most probably thurs gonna watch movie. anyone has good recommendations? btw sis watched 2012 alr so that is so out liao.

loves,
K

2009-11-15T18:32:00.000-08:00

ytd louis and zach came over.=] we played taiti and i kept losing myii sis kept winning. so we played truth or dare. lolx. i think keep playing taiti damn boring lah. haha. thn truth or dare was damn fun! haha. zach was supposed to lyk write his name on myii leg. veh itchy leh. cnt stop laughing. haha. thn he say what hav his name on myii leg that means i am his property. he cn do anything lyk sell miie or sth. wth. thn i say lyk cannot lah. thn he just smiled. LOL.

ytd your pooh pooh almost lended in th dustbin. i cnt bear to see it in th dustbin or throw it away. myii heart hurts. i cnt stop those tears from falling. why does it still hurt so much? memories filled myii mind. i cn remeber almost every single detail. you were so important to miie. zach asked what is it about this guy you cnt forget? why you cnt seem to forget him?i dunno anymore. you changed so much. mayb it's just th memories...

want to go back in time. to stop to look at those moments once more. the first time i told you i loved you. th first time we held hands. th first time i kissed you. th first 5 months we been tgt. th first time you hold miie in your arms. it all seemed lyk it was just ytd when you last hold miie. 4mths plus of waiting. wanted you so bad. but now it's all over. a fact that can no longer be changed.

loves,
K

2009-11-14T21:46:00.000-08:00

so yeah. stayed at home again today. haha. went out for breakfast with family. thn came home and watched tv. ytd after dinner, whole family played card games lyk taiti. haha. fun. super bored leh. not calling anyone cuz they might not b free on sundays. it is mostly family day.

i dun wana be mean to you. but since that is th only way for you to forget miie thn so be it. tat is th only way. why are you still talking to miie?... go study bah. your eoy comming. must jyjy horx. cannot let miie down thn mayb we can go out to watch what you wanted to watch .i'll accompany you. i promise. =] if only you are looking at this. mayb you will understand.

omg lah. damn bored. talking to zach on fb now haha. mayb he can entertain miie.

loves.
K

2009-11-14T01:03:00.000-08:00

craving for peanut butter m&ns since morning. omg. but cnt go down and buy. mummy wont allow. haha. so yeah. washed myii shoe today. hate doing tat man. but i did. hahax. looks better thn before but still not veh clean haha. sad. and and i cleared myii table! yay!

ytd didnt feel lyk going online. so talked on th phone and watched tv. phone with twinie, yi zhe, zach and marc. bored until littat haha. nobody to play with. sis went out. super boring can. oh yeah and th other thing i did was listen to louis's ipod. lolx. he got alot of nice songs leh. hahax.

i wana go out! i wan that bag from montip! i wan i wan... hmms. i forgot. ohs yeah m&ns peanut butter!!!! hahah.

so confused now. why cnt ppl just tell me straight?

loves,
K

2009-11-12T18:52:00.000-08:00

after what you said ytd.i guess now tat i knoe th truth, it's easier to let go. i should just forget it all.shouldnt be crying, but i cnt help it. it hurts so bad. why? cried ytd. and today cried again. when is this gonna stop?

so bored man. nth to do today. no one pei miie

2009-11-12T04:40:00.000-08:00

today was funnnnnnnnnnnnnn! went to jurong east with marc and theodore. thn went on th long stretch of river thingy. hahaha. with th float. it was damn cool lah. thn we went to th slide. it was damn scary lah. freaked miie out okayys. thn veh giddy. cuz i am scared of heights and darkness. walao. thn we went to th children's playground. th water is damn cold lah. thn they wanted to play catching. so play lo.

thn went back to the long river thingy. we tried th '3 man float'. lolx keep falling. thn i fell on zach, pain lah. he lyk some rock sia. but he also fell on miie when we tried again. we tried onn different ppl's float. when they tried mine i sat in th middle and both of them sat on th side. lolx. damn crowded. catching hold of each other and trying not to fall at th same time. and most of th time i didnt have to carry myii float cuz they helped miie. =] so sweet.

after al of that, we went to eat kfc. hahahahahah. marc and i ate th same thing. theodore ate 3 piece chicken. walked back to th mrt. thn hugged theodore and went off with marc. until bouna vista. thn hugged and homed. bought ice cream on th way.

ytd zach came to myii house. stayed until around 11pm. it was enjoyable having him around. we talked about alot of things. =]

everything takes time. i am trying so hard. a little too hard. i realise tat i still love you all th same.

loves,
K

2009-11-10T18:13:00.000-08:00

today didnt go to skol.spending the morning watching tv, eat cereal and now using th com. so yeah.

ytd i was talking to marc.told him tat myii life so far is lyk always on th down side. thn he told miie, what about th time you stead with him? i smiled at that question. yeah i was happy when i was with him, that 5 mths... was almost th happiest period of myii life. pity i didnt treasure it. mayb right now, if you give miie someone else, i might not treasure that person. but him, i definately will.

i knoe it's no use hanging onn to it. i am not. at least trying not to. trying not to talk. when you are thr. myii heart is pumping so fast i dun even knoe what to say. i feel that you are too good for miie. and i cnt seem to catch up.=(

loves,
K

2009-11-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

finally. chinese o levels ended already. it was scary when you step into the examination hall. really. it's lyk this is it or sth.

so yeah, nth much today. had chinese o in th morning, had breakfast with sis. after first paper saw marc, yan bin. nic too. and him. =] then went to th toilet before going back for paper 2. after paper 2, went around with marc, afif and daryl. played taiti for about and hour or so. then waited for afif with marc cause he got sth on. thn went for drama. thn went to tiong. it was damn fun. take bus thr and walked back. myii juniors were awesome. chatted with iris and homed.

i am trying. it's just so hard. everytime i think about it, i could just cry. and i dun cry veh often. it's hard to cry. i failed to treasure what is right infront of miie. today when myii fren told miie sth, i felt horrible. jealous i think . hahax. unexpected. dun lyk tat feeling.

trying so hard, why?

loves,
-K

2009-11-08T23:48:00.000-08:00

today. had dnt , chem and chi. omg stress. now nth to do, playing tic tac toe with him. he keep saying tat he is going to own.... dots. smart lah. own liao littat. lolx. bleah . but he learn quite fast leh.

Random

2009-11-08T04:58:00.000-08:00

o levels............................................................................................... are killing miie. worse still chinese. i am afraid. really afraid. i have beem taking hmt since p5. it is lyk 5 years of taking it. and i am afraid. afraid of not making it. and i cnt do much expect read and practice. ohhs wells.

it has been raining for th past few days. sad and hurt. for miie, life is getting into a mess, a very big one at that. i cnt seem to control. everything seems to be spinning out of control. frustrating.

i want you back. i want myii life back. i want everything to be back lyk how it used to be with you. i dun care what others say. that is their mouth. if they want to dirty it, thn go ahead.

whyy are ppl so obssesed with making other's life difficult ? it's not going to make their sad lives any better. even if they are pathetic, tat doesnt mean tat they get to mess with other ppl's lives just because their is not good enough. that is what losers do and you will be surprised how many of them are out thr.

make th best of everyday tat you have, cause no matter what happens, baby i'll be thr for you.

♥s
-K

2009-11-05T23:50:00.000-08:00

today is just really humid. drizzling on and off. thn all of a sudden heavy downpour. th rain was cooling yet it's pretty uncomfortable when you are wet. rain reminds miie of tears. somehow it makes miie feel blue. i think of you when ever i feel blue, i miss you. alot. i want you hold miie in your arms lyk you used to. hold myii hands and not letting go.

crying, after a veh long while without you. dunno why... trying not to think already. but th more i try, th worse i feel. with all these going on, i thought it's probably easier to forget. trying not to talk to you. i dun wana disturb you or irritate you. remember pooh pooh? you gave it to miie on myii 14th birthday. it is still sitting at myii bedside. it seems to hold alot of beautiful memories we once had. i saw th way you were looking at it when i brought it to camp. you stared at it and thn at miie. it was lyk as if you were surprised i remembered and kept it. how could i forget?

supposed to be studying for chi o levels now. it is 4 days away. i seriously think i am going to fail. i think i am going to express chi next year. thn 5 years of hmt so far will be really wasted. going to study later. i am not so slack. i cnt afford to be...

wasnt late for dnt today. good thing. jaeme and i were th only ones thr. as we were about to start a whole bunch of ppl came in. i handed him his box. though it didnt mean much. rica and i went to start on th box first. did th wires later. but she was faster. most probably had to do with miie helping others. lyk guan tong! lolx. but nvms it's fun helping ppl.

aft dnt is hmt, but yin mei and i was late. cuz mr khoo released us late. but yeah. sat with her too. thn hui jia and shan wen came and hui jia sat next to miie. it was cold inside. both of them had jackets... awww...

waited for twinie for ard an hour. he still had lessons. ytd he waited for miie thn today i wait for him lo. talked to theodore on th phone. until ard 15 mins to 11.40. went back to skol, chatted with marilyn and yin mei for awhile. thn talked to hong yi. he thought tat twinie and i were tgt. wth. i told him no. thn he askeed if i have a stead, i said no,have ex. he wanted to knoe who is it. twinie come down alr, hong yi hold onn to myii bag. so kpo. haha.

walked to th bus stop with daryl chang cuz twinie wanted to follow him or sth. thn he realised tat tat busstop has no 33 so we walked back . saw some 3a guy and started talking. reached tiong and ate ebi rice burger. awesome. hahax. twinie kept 'coping' myii fries. bleah. thn he treat miie donuts. =D thn bused home with him. =] he said we have been lunching tgt for 4 consecutive days. LOL

i want to love you.

♥s

-K

2009-11-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

it's raining heavily today. got drenched on my way to buy mashed potato for myii sis. th rain peeled against myii skin, wind blowing against myii body, i felt cold and alone. i wished you were here with miie, sheltering miie from th rain as you would a very long time ago. it was almost raining th whole day. i sat in class watching th raindrops falling, it reminded miie of how fragile it all was.

today i was late for dnt. got scolded from mr khoo. he said i was strolling into class. we learned how to attach wires and assemble our product. awesome. went with yin mei to find glad afterwards. waited for her fnn to finish. went to tiong. saw benedict , sq and edrick two times. returned to skol for hmt. twinie lent miie his unwashed jacket. he dun bother to wash it . lol

after hmt, walked to queensway with twinie. thr he ate curry rice and otah. and we saw shirts tat could light up. hahax. cool. it reacts to sound waves too. =] walk walk awhile aft twinie finished his lunch. saw his friend thr too. his friend is damn cute. lol. thn walk walk some more and then bused home with twinie. =]

it hurts real bad.

♥s

-K

2009-11-03T02:39:00.000-08:00

so yeah. i dunno man. this is damn messed up... not gonna go into details cuz sis wana use th com.

i dunno how long i cn hang onn. i miss you. wanted you so bad. but i guess it's just all myii wishful thinking.

♥s

-K

2009-11-02T01:05:00.000-08:00

so yeah. start of extended curriculum today was poa, chem, geog elec and mathx. lolx i didnt have to go for geog and glad pei-ed miie even though she had to go. thn aft tat ate lunch with twinie at anchor point. kfc!! hahax cuz myii sis wanted cheese fries. =D tmr i m gonna get her sweets. hahax.

it's probably just another day moving between skol and home. i think. th weather is freaking hot today, somehow it is. and twinie.. it is not cuz you are here. lolx. recess was damn long la. hahax no bell somemore. dots. one hour of lessons. two hours later thn cn have recess. and th worst thing is thr is no porridge today. sad

so lyk i was onn msn , thn i saw myii friend's pm. it went lyk "hi i need a girlfriend". so i was wondering. is having a stead really important? isnt it suppose to be stead cuz you love tat person? well love is not littat, it's more then just th feeling. it's th person. it is contradicting. it is being selfless. it is wanting th best for him or her. i think. roughly. thr is no true definition.

just really bored now and somehow alot of things are getting onn myii nerves. for no apparent reason. not really. it has been littat ever since TAT day. lolx. this is not good. i mean seriously, it will be lyk some ridiculous shit. imagine. every other day. lyk what th hell. i dunno what's with miie and everyone ard miie. all being damn insulting. including miie. cn you believe it? i feel damn mean..... and damn bad.

oh yeah. some are not for not apparent reason. they are just freaking pissing miie off. damn fuck la. i feel lyk myii life is damn suck-ish. it seems lyk since i got to sec 3, i m being a failure at every other thing and you couldnt say tat i didnt try. I DID. in fact, really hard. in every aspects important to miie. and tat will somehow affect myii life. you might say i didnt try hard enough, all i cn tell you now is i am drained. thr is nth more i can do.

i am so darn tired of having fix everything tat started out wrong in th first place, thr is no remedy for it.

♥s

-K

2009-10-31T06:04:00.000-07:00

hurt. dunno what to do or what to say to you anymore. it's hard to. i dun wana hav to bug you all th time. i dun wana be irritating or anything. it's not i dun wana go to you or what. i knoe what i said ytd was lyk damn bad. i dunno if you are angry or what. you wont tel miie anyways.

i i really wana forget... i just cant do it. until now i am still tearing at times. when we were at camp, i thought i didnt lyk you anymore. i though i had gotten over you. but i was damn wrong. instead i took note of you even more.

i knoe tat it was hard cuz i really hurt you last time. mayb cuz when you stead long le. th feeling gets numb, it's not tat i didnt lyk you anymore. it was becuz i had gotten so used to you being by my side tat i just took it for granted. i really love you. but i guess it's too late now. i feel so dumb. to let you go just littat. now you wont even talk to miie anymore.

how i wish you could see this... cuz it's what i wana tel you. just tat i dun have th courage anymore... cuz everytime i try, i fall really hard. i dun even knoe if you lyk miie anymore. mayb this is just one sided.

sometimes when you dun reply and stuff i feel lyk just withdrawing myiiself to a corner. it's probably no use saying all this now. cuz it feels lyk it's all over.

it's hard to accept anyone now. i dun feel lyk going into any new relationships when myii stead is not you. this cant drag anymore. i have myii chi o level soon. and next year it lyk sec 4. after tat if i leave school will i see you? i have to try to forget and fast. th thing is. i cnt seem to do it.

Days of loving you.

those days with you, it was th sweetest days of myii life.

With love
-K

2009-10-30T01:43:00.000-07:00

today went out with twinie. after i collected report book thn saw rex, him , lucas and nic.went to talk to them and find miss khoo... and yeah. quite fun. hahax. now nth much to do. was talking to him until he was busy. sad. ohh wells. play game with him damn funny.=]

so yeah. now talking to gorx and choinging micheal jackson videos. hahax.

Days of loving you.

for you i'd swim through th rivers of time,

With love
-K

2009-10-29T01:32:00.000-07:00

omg! finally back in sing! yay! hahax. it was damn fun. karimun has really nice curry puffs. hahax. man, it was hectic. have to carry things all around when you are damn tired. we took bus everywhere and it is not air conditioned. but yet very windy.. hahax. myii class seperated mainly into 2 groups. group 3 and 4. both were awesome. and we showed tat our class isnt bad at all.

during th trip, i got to know alot more about others in myii class. so yeah. it's lyk different from school. =]

well. dun feel lyk going into details . one word. awesome. =]

Days of loving you.

i realise tat you still hold an important place deep in myii heart

With love
-K

2009-10-26T00:39:00.000-07:00

so yeah. tmr camp le. going to pack ltr. hahax. siian different group from glad sia. ohh wells. mr chong dun wana change what else cn i do? so went to skol today and had pre camp activities thn hav assembly all in th ish.

ytd went out with shawn gorx. em bused to vivo first. but thr dun hav th movie i want. thn went to great world by cab. watched 500 days of summer. damn nice. LOL so yeah. thn ltr he say wana go west coast park. so we went. and climbed th string thingy. it was well... i dunno. scary. i have a phobia of heights. so yeah. thn walked around th park and he brought miie to th jetty thr. damn nice. =] thn spent th last hours of th day onn top of some bar thingy at th play ground nearby. =]

i am damn confused. mayb i m just not ready for a new relationship. i mean. i still really love him. i really do. and even if he doesnt love miie anymore. i just want him to be happy. like he is now.

Days of loving you.

is anything going to change from here? i dun know anymore. it's no longer up to miie.

With love
-K

2009-10-22T06:27:00.000-07:00

today had dnt competition. th day seems short. spent th whole day in dnt workshop and at nyp's auditorium. it was... welll.... em dunno how to say. but kah hoe's lame jokes were somehow keeping miie awake. and jaeme said if we get into th finals thn he go bang th wall and our skol did. hahax. so yeah. but sadly i forgot abot it last min. LOL

today is your birthday. i hope you spent it well. i didnt talk to you today cuz well... you might b happier tat way. since it's over i shall try to forget. but it's gonna take a long well. and i probably wouldnt b ready to start a new relationship in a veh long while. mayb tat's a good thing.

Days of loving you.

forget... why is myii heart still so pain?

With love

-K

2009-10-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

sad... hurt and well. frustrated.... at every other thing tat is happening in myii super sad life. agitated even by th littlest things. this is bad. horrid feeling builds up at everything tat seems to b well.... horrid? trying to pull myiiself tgt when i m on th verge of a break down. trying not to lose myiiself in this hectic time. it is not easy. but who am i to tell you how i really feel? it is hard to miie to face all of this myii self. but who am i to blame it on others?

today got myii blood test results. awesome. hahax. not telling what myii blood type is. instructions from mummy. =] but know alr also no use. hahax. accompanied sis to th dentist and was msging yi zhe and lucas th whole day. lolx

Days of loving you.

it's lyk holding onn to sth you cnt keep at all

With love
-K

2009-10-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

ah. cnt upload photos on this com. stupid lar. shall upload ltr. so yarrhs. currently facebooking and stuff.

ytd went to grand parent's house. =] it was... filling. well thr was alot of food. dun even have to eat dinner, full alr. hahax. and thr was frozen grapes dipped in white chocolate!! and and a super big silce of cake! awesome la! hahax. not to mention almond jelly with longan! =D

at night talked to yi zhe. thn he asked for myii chi name. I M STILL NOT TELLING! hahax. shall prove it by giving him a pretty name tag.. hehe.

Days of loving you.

i dun wana remember anymore.

With love
-K

2009-10-16T03:04:00.000-07:00

hmms. today supposed to watch movie. but went play pool. so went late. went to see th movie thingy at vivo and saw rex. =] thn went to see lucas, jun peng and jun tee. thn we went to sky park. damn hot sia. lolx. but by tat time jun peng and jun tee go home alr. so we sat at th auditorium and rex was telling lucas jokes. it was damn fun to watch when they played bitch and chee bye. lolx damn lame.

thn i felt lyk eating th carl's jr burger. so we went thr. damn funny larrhs. when we sat thr. more lucas jokes and stories. hahax. and what happened when twinie and i havent reached. damn funny. baby got his pants wet at th fountain. hahax. thn ltr when he go into aircon he say his leg damn cold. lolx.* not laughing. =]

thn went to daiso cuz twinie wanted to get sports band. cnt find. instead i got a packet of jap biscuit. hee hee. thn went to mu- ee. damn nice la.. we kept seeing pigs. thn we went out thr and saw giant i pointed to it and said giant thn rex go and point to lucas and said giant. lolx. thn lucas chased him. =]

when to th kids conner and sat for a while.. thr i sit onn th dark blue thingy and lucas pushed down... wth. and lucas spinned rex until he got a headache. lolx. thn rex tried th same thing onn miie but it didnt work cuz myii legs werent in. so i jumped off. lucas was lyk shouting her legs are not in! she will fall. =]

thn sat for a while more thn go home le. went home with rex and twinie. =] lolx rex was so tired he slept.. well everyone was. laugh too much alr. =]

Days of loving you.

it's little moments tat count.

With love

-K

2009-10-15T04:06:00.000-07:00

today was... em... how to say... hectic.. and i m lyk some siao cha bor cn. crap. i just realised today tat ppl have limited vocabulary. the word commonly used is siao. and they keep saying it to you. wat th. lack of vocab. it is hard to imagine tat these ppl top th level or even th class for tat matter. ohhs wells. cnt be bothered anymore. somehow... i have no mood for blogging. i dunno why. just feel lyk typing but not go into details. this week so far has been damn bad.

went for dnt compettiton preparation today. =] did quite alot. i did th switch. damn small and damn hard. one word. horrid. =(

Days of loving you.

wo shi lian le.

with love

-K

2009-10-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

so yarh. went to eat donuts again. with twinie, ernest and jia ding. went to delta first. saw lucas, ken n jeric onn th way. thn while eating at th dount factory, saw kah hoe, kenneth they all. LOL. crap poa course today. walked passed hmt class two times and cher didnt even see la. lolx.

stupid la. tat it th last straw. break la break la. i heck care alr. i dun want to either. whatever la. you dun want to care then what you want miie to do. chase after you? fuck la. you run so far catch what shit sia. i keep doing tat and you wont give a damn. thn fine. whatever. hurting is lyk a duh. but. ahhh.. nvms.

Days of loving you

bleah.

With love
-K

2009-10-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

now in th com lab. having some poa course and wont be attending dnt later on. mayb tat is a good thing rite? i mean. i wont be seeing him. hand pain, leg pain. he also dun care. tat is it man. myii sis say give him time. and yet again more time. i knoe i waited lyk damn long for this. but no point le. even physical pain cnt be compared to it... feeliing super shity... i start to wonder why you even patch with miie in th first place. no need to give more time already. we all knoe whr this is going. forget it. you win. happy now?

Days of loving you.

why is it so hard to find someone who loves miie for who i am?

With love
-K

2009-10-13T05:16:00.000-07:00

hurt, angry n ohhs wells. i mean lyk really hurt. as in fell down. bleeding and wounded onn myii left and right knee and my right elbow. today damn sui lo. myii maths fail damn badly sia. thn maths period glad is not here. siian ttmx. argh. fail ch when i thot i could pass. dun wanna eleborate.

today drama was... dunno how to say... dunno why i didnt audition either. mayb cuz no mood bah. i probably audition nxt week... miss khoo was lyk asking why i didnt audition. then lingesh damn fuck sia. after tat dunno whr they went.

falling down today damn pain. putting th alcohol shit is worse. tat stinging pain. but yet they are only physical pain. cannot be compared to th pain you caused miie. th hurt feeling. being worthless in your eyes . i had enough of all this . enough of being hurt, enough of tears and pain. but yet, what else can i do?

your girl is afraid for you. your girl doesnt want to lose you. your girl want to stand by your side.

Days of loving you

that is it bitch.

with love
-K

2009-10-12T06:38:00.000-07:00

so ya. first day of a usual skol day after exams. started th dnt compettition le. nth much to do in class. got back two papers n two other half papers( half cuz th other sections havent give back )
th two papers i got a2. so yarrhs. didnt feel lyk climbing out of bed today, but i did. cuz i wanted myii papers back. argh. fail maths fail deh damn bad. expected.

today twinie gave miie marshmellows! =] thn i was lying onn it when benedict took it. thn he and edrick throw it ard. dots. just cuz they wana eat. lame rite? hahax. bt quite cute la. and twinie has a new haircut! he told miie not to laugh, but he still looks th same leh. LOL. thn in class baby throw miie a sweet. all i did was call his name. ii also didnt say i wan sweet. hahax. baby damn cute. thn in th end gave him th letter and he kept it in his bag.=DDDDDDDDDDDDD

today second month. i hope you read tat letter sweetheart. although i didnt spend much time on it. hahax. but yarrhs. whatever it is, i just wan you to knoe tat no matter how you change, i'd still love you all th same. =] things may change in th future, and i dunno if you would still b thinking of miie or loving miie back. but no matter what it is, i would never forget th times you gave so much and those moments we spend together. i would love you more if i could, hold onn to every sec with you. i knoe tat that would probably be impossible rite now cuz of our current situationn n i decided tat tat is th best solution for both of us. i dunno wat would it b lyk when i mention it to you, would you have any reaction at al? it's gonna hurt damn bad and i knoe i would feel damn empty. but i m ready to let go... dun give miie false hope again. i cnt take much more of this.

Days of loving you.

after today... it probably going to end.

With love
-K

2009-10-11T02:09:00.000-07:00

blurred, by alot of things. saddened by certain things. and confused by all this. i dunno what to do now or how to react. mayb it is not true. mayb it is. i dun wan to keep thinking about it. things are already as bad as it is. things tat i have to go through myiiself. and when i thot i have gotten over it all and those days were behind miie, it keeps comming back.

people around miie keep doing tat. why? unexpected things. everyone seems unexpected. it scares miie. when you think you know this person, and he/she does sumthings tat makes you feel hurt and you start to wonder. do i really knoe him /her? is this really the person i once called friend?or even a best friend? because i dun seem to knoe him/ her anymore.

Days of loving you

it is utterly confusing

With love
-K

2009-10-10T09:23:00.000-07:00

ahh it is lyk 12 plus in th morning n i am still up. cuz family went out late to eat dinner. ahh. lolx. cn log in to facebook now. bleah. this is so crap. good thing blogger is stil working. lolx. facebook! i need it! omg larrhs. feeling damn random.

alalallaalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaala. showing dad th pomegranate phone. hahax. ppl shd go see man. n they cn figure out themseleves if it is real anot. http://pomegranate.com go see. =] hehe.

feel lyk eating cream cake n drinking carrot juice. ahh. lolx

Days of loving you.

i cnt seem to get you out of myii mind.

With love
-K

2009-10-10T05:40:00.000-07:00

went to phoebe's party. quite fun. hahax.played wng intoii n ate quite alot n cream cake! damn nice sia. hahax. hmms before tat talked to twinie. hahax. thn yeah. dun feel lyk going in to details.

i had enough of you la. so bitch cn. xi bei crap. bloody irritating at times you knoe. boss ppl around. lame la. damn siian cn. wa lao talk lyk you damn what littat but you keep lying. you are nothing but a lier. n a fucking bitch.

Days of loving you.

super random.

your daily dose of vitamin k, bitch.

2009-10-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

ah. saturday. =]

happy birthday phoebe hunneh!!

lolx she is finally turning 14. hahax. ltr going to her b'dae party. all th way at kebangan... i hope th spelling is correct. hahax. okayys... so ltr meeting marc thn going tgt. heehee. i wonder what we are going to do thr. hmms. her aunts house is damn big cn. =]

just finished a quiz onn 100 truths. so now dunno do what. talking to twinie onn msn. he is damn bored. lolx n lazy. tat piggie. hahax.

so yeah. though exmas are over i still have chi o levels to think about. crap. nvms tat. now tat exmas are over n i have nth much to keep miie busy, i cnt help but think about our realtionship... it's not getting any better... playing keep away hurts. alot.ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. dun wana think about it.

Days of loving you.

it all seems meaningless now.

With love
-K

2009-10-09T01:32:00.001-07:00

ytd went to plaza to watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs with sis. damn cool. saw ming duo n shahul hahax. =]

had dnt early todae. went to skol. on th way saw jaeme. thn walked with him al th way to th workshop. =] saw matt thr. so yarrhs ltr thn kah hoe n marx came. went up stairs n did brainstorming. 3 ideas. hahax. thn cn go le. thn went home.

dun feel lyk going in to details todae.

Days of loving you.

baby.

With love

-K

2009-10-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

ah. no exams todae n they are finally over. all th hmt ppl no nid to go to skol todae. i shd hav checked myii phone earlier bt i slept damn early ytd. so yeah. did not see. thn this morning saw. bt i was already prepared to go out. ugh. bt myii mum wanted miie to confirm so no choice lo. call skol. thn they say dunno. and mdm xusu havent come in yet. so they ask miie either call other friends or call back ltr. thn started calling lo. bt alot never pick up. guess they are still sleeping. thn clarissa picked up. she confirmed tat thr isnt any lc today. bleah. cnt get to sleep . dad allowed miie to stay up n watch tv. =]

so now facebooking n watching tv. later going out with family to eat breakfast. thn aftnoon going out with meimei to watch show! cloudy with a chance of meatballs. hehe. awesome. tom and jerry is damn cute sia.

baby. it's been days since we talked at all. i cnt say tat i dun miss you. i really wana see you. though it's best i dun i mean it is easier for miie really. i guess i really need to move onn. it's about time i did. i just cnt seem to. wouldnt it b better if thr is sumone to love miie? ohhs well. =P i guess i have myiiself to love miie. if thr is any at all or not. it's probably depends onn fate. i m not tat desprate la.

Days of loving you

al i want is love.=]

with love
-K

2009-10-07T03:03:00.000-07:00

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala...=] todae last paper. welll sortda. tomorrow lc. crap third time taking this year. lolx anyways went out with twinie today! onn th way to redhill saw jaeme. =] talked for abit. thn i gotta drop off le. twinie really go wear th pink shirt i ask him to. cuz i wanan see how he look in pink. damn cute sia... =D hehe. so yarrhs he brough wee keat along. =] we went to eat first thn look for twinie's shirt. twinie and i ate pepper lunch while wee keat ate tepanyaki. dunno how to spell.

looked for quite a while. shop is not opened so went to iluma cuz twinie said i wanted to. lolx he wana go still push to miie. thn wee keat say okay lo. so yarrhs. thn we took the super long escalator!! cuz i thot it was damn cool n asked if we could take it. hahax. it was abit scary bt awesome. =] saw a bunch of queenstownians there. watched ppl play arcade for a while thn went off le. continued looking for twinie's shirt.

after an hour or two. found it!=] hahax. it was 25 n th tie was 10. bt th person said cn give 30 al tgt. hahax. so yeahs. he bought it. it looks nice onn him. thn myii turn to look for myii things. bt keep walking thn cannot find. so wee keat went home and twinie n i continued our search. hehe actually my search. hahax. walked for damn long. thn found th perfect one! finally! hee. twinie pei miie walk al th way just to find a vest. thn we continued to look for a bag. bt sumhow unsucessful. so yeah. went to vivo and walked until myii legs were freezing. bought two super long candies.

went to tiong cuz i felt lyk eating donut. so we bought 6. three for th each of us. two for myii family n 1 for miie. one for his bro n two for him lolx. twinie so greedy!! hehe todae he pike th hair style nicer. so i took another one. =] and it is pooh pooh's second time out. pooh pooh is baby give dehs. so brought it out todae. =]

still left sum money to go out with meimei tomorrow. hehe. she just recovered.=D big smily!

Days of loving you.

i tied twinie's tie! pro-ness.

With love

-K

2009-10-05T22:57:00.000-07:00

so yarrhs, maths n physica todae. crap. hahax. tmr last paper. poa paper 1! hahax. yay! bt still needa jyjy! =]

i wanna hear your voice. i wanna hug you. i wanna stay in your arms. but it's not gonna happen. it's hopeless. nvms... it's not gonna happen anyways. at least not anymore.

lalalalalalalalalallalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalallalalalalalalalalalalalalallalala. mixed feelings. now. heartbroken. but trying not to think about it.

okayys. bored. facebooking. MAYB blogging ltr.

Days of loving you.

i.... ah... forget it.

With love

-K

2009-10-05T02:17:00.000-07:00

exams! are totally stressing me out. crap. juz had a group study. well sortda cuz i only stayed for 2 hours. at mathan's house. with benedict, edrick, rica, rex n mike. =] thn aft a teeny weeny bit of studies we head for lunch. =] curry noodles! not bad. i lyk th crakers. hahax

so yarrhs. todae had dnt. aft which headed to th bus stop with deborah from 3b. thn saw minn xuan , we took th same bus. =] hahax. reached home n realised i left myii pencil case, water bottle and calculator in skol. LOL. onn myii table summore. hahax. talked to twinie. for dunno how long. thn read story to myii sis. called him back cuz i promised... talked for quite awhile. =] thn he low batt. hahax. so he is goona call ltr.

i feel. so..... crap... just damn crap. somehow.... i know there was alot of things i didnt treasure. until i've lost it ... now that i have lost so much. thn i understand. i want you to be here. want you to hold me lyk you used to. i love you so much. i dun wana let go. who wans to let go of sumone who seems so perfect to them? i know i said i wouldnt. but i cnt take it, i dun understand why this is happening and why you are acting littat. i dun wana spend myiii days with you littat. having stead lyk no stead. i mean. it's your heart n wan. not th person or just another title that i am your gf. isnt love something everyone wants? why does everyone have such a sweet relationship but yet mine is so broken?

Days of loving you.

love. i dunno what to say anymore.

With love

-K

2009-10-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

todae there is only like one paper. hmt. lolx. it was really rushy rushy. lolx glad finished 5 mins before it ended. good thing it is 2 hrs. lolx although half an hour later then express chinese bt we really need those 30 mins. ohhs well.

aft the paper went with twinie to tiong , actually we walked to th bus stop. thn we saw kwok onn n rex n they were going to tiong so he said go tiong lo. n we went. saw lucas n nic, as well as th 2a gang hahax. jp, jt, ken, darren. bt he wasnt thr. went to cyrus with calvin. well, those ppl were headin t lucas void deck to play a game which involes stepping onn ppl's foot. lolx so cute. bt they got tired of waiting for kwok onn n rex. so they go first.

when we went in, sq, chee yang n shuan were thr siad hellos. shandy, jesslyn n julia too. hahax waved to them n said hi to melissa. =] thn went off to join rex n kwok onn... sat thr talked awhile n ate breakfast. thn they went first n we followed soon after.

went in to comics conection to buy my landyard. bt dun hav what i lyk n i dunno wat to buy. we ran into ernest thr. hahax. so three of us went down to eat. actaully they bought something. i already ate. hahax. thn went into donut factory. ernest is damn cute sia. th way he eat is lyk.... dunno how to say. bt juz alot of sugar. see already also... twinie bought miie a donut and thn i bought th another one n we shared. =]

thn walked all th way to bt merah. to take bus with twinie while ernest walked back home. =] ernest is seriously damn cute. walking while talking to him cn laugh non stop sia. hahax. thn he said tat i think every small things are cute. i said no. thn he said what about th unicorn thing infront(he was refering to twinie cuz he spike his hair.). n i just laughed. lolx.

cross th over head bridge n twinie took th same bus as miie. reached myii stop n waited for his bus. untit came i was busy taking pics of him. bt he doesnt allow miie to post. so i only posted his hair. not bad sia. hahax.

walked home to find sis already at home sleeping. i forgotten to buy her a soft toy. crap. bt i also dunno weather she would like another eyore. =(

chatting with twinie onn msn now. n using facebook!

i miss him. i really wana make a clear break. a clean break. i set myii mind to it. it's no point anymore. i cnt bring myiiself to.... tears can just fall if i talk about it... or even think about it. does tat mean i m not ready to? i thought i could take it. i really did.

Days of loving you.

it's broken. i wont turn back. i cnt. not anymore.

With love
-K

2009-09-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

stress. exams make miie damn stress. crap. paper after paper and i dun seeem to have enough time at al. not enough time for everything. not enough time to prefect everything... not enough time...

the usual impact of things has gotten larger. it hurts even more n even little things sting. i hav no idea y. though love is not everything, it makes you feel bad. it hurts and sumtimes you dun even wana turn back. you dun wana try. not even just for a bit. afraid of getting hurt again n having to go through tat agony once more. horrid, horrid feeling. th worse thing is even after a while, it still hurts. though not as much bt it reminds you. th irony of it al is you find tat you stil love him. and you are trying to find a way out of it al.

Days of loving you.

too stress to continue. and i dun wana to continue alone.

With love
-K

2009-09-27T03:26:00.000-07:00

todae went to cut hair, well not really cut. trim. during th hols i m going t really cut. juz sit thr n tell eddie gor t cut wateva hairstyle he thinks suits miie. =] hahax. big gamble. ohhs wells. worth a shot. hahax. he is a good hairstylist.

studied ss. really scared for eoy n ppl keep sending miie chains for it! I HAVE NO PREPAID. bt thn again it is typed out. welll... sumone has t type it rite?. so yarrhs.

Fragile. everything is so fragile. i knoe you have moved on. so hav i. now you hav your own relationship n well i hav mine too. everything seems different now. you seem different too. i guess i've put al those agony n pain behind. even if i didnt, i need to now. cuz i m not your girl anymore n neither r you myii guy. i knoe it's not a good time. bt i dun talk t you much anyways. i dun wan to. cuz it still hurts. nt tat i lyk you anymore. it's juz at tat time it hurt alot. 4 daes of continuous crying is more thn enough for miie... i cn still vaugly remember th pain. juz probably abit less. forget it. i dun wan t dwell on it anymore. i m finally letting go. of everything.

-for k. something i dun wan t remember.

Baby is probably having tuition nw. siian. he is damn hardcore studying now. or at least i think so. hahax. good luck baby. must jyjy!! cannot let ppl look down onn you. miss ya.

Days of loving you.

dun let it affect both of us. forget it al.

With love

-K

2009-09-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

todae was rather interesting.. n fun! i went for chem in th morning in skol. i knoe. tiring. bt no choice! exams!!! a few ppl were thr too. miss yeo thot thr were alot of ppl comming n she booked th itr1. lolx. we ended up wit 9. edrick, rica, rexston, mike, benedict ,kwok onn, mathan, priya n i. is was okayys. benedict sat beside miie, and talked quite abit. hahax.

aft which, th whole group minus kwok onn went onn to mathan house t study, we did. well. abit. quite hard t concentrate when u hav benedict n edrick togetther. hahax. bt it was fun. watched tv n ate lunch. thn almost everyone tried onn th motorcycle helmets! so cool! hahax. thn mathan's sister called mike black n he was al lyk she called miie black when i m actually dark brown. LOLx.

slacked quite alot before we actually started by moving th mats to th other house as it is quiet n empty. we were busy trapping ppl out of th house before tat. good thing i stayed in. lolx. mike carried th fan over. we brought our things over n started. mathan n i did abit of dnt while th rest did poa. bt we couldnt really study so everyone was fooling around until mike n benedict had to go cuz both of them hav tuition. sad. they kept comming back n shouting bye. hahax. i guess it was loud cuz th house is rather empty. thn benedict knocked onn th window behind. said bye t everyone. thn i stood by th window n watched cuz i was bored. n he waved t miie. so i waved back.=]

ramdomly, we walked t th guthri house at sixth ave n bought ice cream. i bought belgium chocolate n yoggi, rica bought yoggi n butterscotch, mathan yoggi n dark chocolate n priya's vanilla. edrick n rexston didnt wana get anything. tried rica's butterscotch ,mathan's dark chocolate n priya's vanillla. not bad. shd buy it nxt time. =]

tried t study for awhile n went home with rex, priya , rica. rex n i accompanied priya t get dinner n rica to get candy corn. hahax. thn we send priya home, rica t th bus stop n waited for her bus thn went home ourselves. hahax.

i found out two things todae.

i never thought i could click with these bunch of ppl. bt it was really fun todae. =]

n alot of ppl dun lyk two ppl who i thot were rather popular. crap. i m damn slow.

todae we keep wanting t swim. thn benedict suggested a swim at mathan's house aft exams. she agreed bt said tat cnt b alot of ppl. thn he said, th same group of ppl larrhs. n everyone agreed. hahax. he said juz wear tee shirt n pants thn jump in. lolx.

baby has tuition todae, wonder how he is copping with exams. wateva it is baby u must knoe, tat i m always here for you.=] i love you. u kb shit. =]

off to watch pinochio! cant upload pics....

days of loving you.

you are myii motivation!

With love

-K

2009-09-24T23:38:00.000-07:00

todae had eng paper one n two. damn scared bt th passage was interesting. saw baby n lucas during recess. they wrote th same topic(what th! they veh xing you ling xin lo. jealous. hahax.). lolx. apparently baby says he takes mrt alot. so yarrhs. n lucas also. cause they go to th same tuition. somewhere far away. for maths.=] lolx. i wrote quest no five. betrayal.

so yarrhs. aft exams lessons continue. we went for hmt and was released quite late. so glad n i ate lunch in skol n not dawson. firstly cuz glad wana save money.. secondly... dun wana walk all th way thr. lolx. thn saw afif, marc n hong yi as well. keep saying im short. wth. bleahs. lolx. i knoe i m larrhs. bt they say until i m so tiny. lolx. i guess i kinda am.

walked t th bus stop with glad aft we finish eating. hahax. =] thn saw 111 bus fre ride sia! n got ppl wearing pineapple costume inside! hahax so cute! thn rahman say whoever take th bus will b damn ps lo. siian thn pineapple so cute. shd hav went onn it. bt i didnt waited for 970 hahax. no nid t walk so far. hahax.

baby! eoy le. must jyjy. behind you al th way yarrhs... not tat you cn see miie cuz i m so much shoprter thn you. lolx. heard tat ytd sumbody hit you bt you nvr huan shou. expected. you wont get urself involed for nth dehs. proud of you hubby! bt damn xing tong. dunno where he hit you sia... bt todae ur face no blueblack leh.

Days of loving you.

twinie wrote th same topic as miie! hahax.

With love

-K

2009-09-24T02:54:00.001-07:00

ahhhh.... today is tiring. walked to queenstown mrt station with priya mathan n edrick. than rested at the cafe in queenstown mrt for awhile before moving on.

tomorrow is the first paper already. english paper. that explains why i am trying in complete words and not weird ones. oh wells. trying really hard t study. working very hard already. when i was studying, tigger's has been sitting there watching n accompanying me. i love it to bits!=D

i wish everyone the best of luck for tomorrow's paper! though it is english it is essential ya... jia yous!

i feel so tired. lethargic. i m trying really hard. hard in almost every aspect. be it friendship, relationship or studies. i dont want to have to do everything myself expect studies that is. i m freaking tired. there is nobody to share my load cause no one can actually really help me. it hurts. ALOT.

baby, i wish you were here hugging me like you used to, holding my hand and not letting go. i miss you. need you here. though i know it's rather impossible. sometimes i just need to know you care. that i exists somewhere in your heart. i am on the verge of breaking down. but i cant... i wont. at least not at this time. this moment. not now.

Days of loving you.

no. i dont understand. i dont think i would ever understand again.

With love

-K

2009-09-20T19:30:00.000-07:00

ytd was rather fun.. pity mucus didnt come. aww. i miss tat little feller. no.. it's not the one in th picture... tat in th picture would b myii baby cousin titus neo. yarrhs he is adorable , bt looks can be deceiving. he is really spoiled... yet he is loved by almost everyone. mucus on th other hand, though might not b loved as much bt bel n i certainly love him alot. pity i dun hav his pic. =(

ytd mum had told bel n i sum stuff... n i felt horrible. u knoe how ppl kept complaining about thier parents bot giving them what they want? bt hav they ever thought y? no. they did not. tat is why they sit thr al dae complaining about their lives n thinking tat they are pathetic. indeed they r pathetic. bt not because they dun get what they want. it's cuz they dont appreciate their parents n they choose t live in pain because of their thinking.

i love myii family. be it rain or shine... come what may. we can get through anything together bel n i will b thr giving both of you what ever support you nid. i love you daddy n mummy.

i should realy stop complaining too. though last week hit miie really hard. i often wonder why those things are happening t miie n why myii love life reeks. yes it is hard t take n th feeling is somewhat horrible. mayb it cuz i dunno how t manage myii feelings. bt i dun cry all th time... it hurts... bt i dun. i cnt.

Days of loving you.

stop. juz pls, stop.

With love

-K